Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

davincidasecond

Offline (the 02/07/2016 at 5:04pm) | Search for a member

davincidasecond

11Fucked!

davincidasecond
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 February 1993 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5705
  • Number of comments : 627
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 15 posted

About davincidasecond : Weeeeell, I'm a:
Senior in college.
Rugby player/fan.
Comic book geek.
Guy who comes on FML to laugh.

Just a few things (out of thousands) to know about me. Feel free to shoot a message. But please, no creepers.

davincidasecond's page activity

Visits<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:38pm<b>ADDiva</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 2:24am<b>noodlemantra</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 10:32pm<b>joco4</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:16pm<b>MrGodface</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 11:39pm<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 4:15pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 8:27pm<b>MoxieJones</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 6:26pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 12:39am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 3:58pm<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 8:57pm<b>Duhitstori</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 11:49pm<b>ashpash207</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 3:51pm<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:46pm<b>undere</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:24pm<b>joshklander</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 4:42pm<b>WTFMyLifeSucks21</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 11:18pm

Fucked!<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:27am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 5:46am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 2:02pm<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 11:30pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 6:35am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 8:48pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:05pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:27am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:01am<b>_mittlieder_</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 4:23am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:24am

davincidasecond's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of davincidasecond's badges

davincidasecond's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bitched out by my shrew of a mother for getting engaged, to a man. She's not homophobic, but rather pissed off because gay marriage is "trendy" and she wants me to be "above that nonsense". Hurray for love. FML

#21506801
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21994) - you deserved it (3361)

On 12/23/2015 at 4:06am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I were going to Applebee's. A girl we don't like invited herself along. She waited for my friend outside of the bathroom, forced her to drive her, and said, "It's okay someone will pay for me." She then ate off of everyone's plate and left before the bill came. FML

#21506364
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21345) - you deserved it (3512)

On 12/21/2015 at 9:42pm - misc - by RUFckingSrs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend takes creepshots of me sleeping, and my mom likes them on her Instagram. FML

#21506177
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20450) - you deserved it (2001)

On 12/21/2015 at 9:56am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband finally revealed that he's been secretly buying a particular brand of spicy chicken, eating it on his way home from work. He does it because it makes his farts smell just the way he likes it under the duvet when we go to bed. FML

#21505151
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21278) - you deserved it (1762)

On 12/18/2015 at 12:49pm - misc - by tara (woman) - Switzerland (Zug)

Today, I finished polishing a song I was working on for my girlfriend. The next words out of her mouth when we next spoke: "I want to break up." FML

Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML

#21504620
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21010) - you deserved it (1421)

On 12/16/2015 at 10:42pm - kids - by who wants spaghetti - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was in Starbucks with my daughter when she noticed a travel cup she liked. She picked one up and asked for it, but I said no because it was expensive. She angrily slammed it back into its stand and in the process, knocked over a display of ceramic mugs. I had to pay for each broken mug. FML

#21504605
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23678) - you deserved it (4169)

On 12/16/2015 at 9:55pm - kids - by Starfucks (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, some guy I don't know walked up to me and told me that he's determined to sleep with my girlfriend, then walked away while giving me the finger. I've never seen him before in my life. FML

#21504604
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22091) - you deserved it (1597)

On 12/16/2015 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by MystoganFT - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at an amusement park with friends. We wanted to get a picture of all four of us, so we asked a nice-looking man to take it for us on my brand-new iPhone 6s. He took something. Unfortunately, it wasn't a picture. FML

#21504603
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18886) - you deserved it (7057)

On 12/16/2015 at 9:47pm - misc - by phone-less - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at my job as a bagger in a grocery store when I felt the intense need to shit. On my way to the bathroom, an elderly customer insisted I go with her to find an item she needed, despite my telling her exactly where it was and that I was in a hurry. I didn't make it back to the bathroom. FML

#21504421
51 comments

Today, my daughter asked me if we could adopt a child. I said no, since we can't afford to support another child. She then asked me if she could just adopt another dad instead. FML

#21504401
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20365) - you deserved it (1980)

On 12/16/2015 at 10:28am - kids - by anon (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML

#21504186
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20286) - you deserved it (1529)

On 12/15/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by fmltom (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my sister finally came home from the hospital with my new baby nephew. When I got a chance to hold him, my mother mentioned that he looked a lot like me when I was a baby. My sister started crying. FML

#21504149
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20954) - you deserved it (1550)

On 12/15/2015 at 7:32pm - misc - by hi_im_ughlee (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

#21504013
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27917) - you deserved it (2401)

On 12/15/2015 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Bayern)

Today, while out hiking with my girlfriend, she thought it would be funny to push me down a small hill. It turned out there was a 16 foot drop at the end of it, and now my leg is in a cast. FML

#21503969
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23949) - you deserved it (1609)

On 12/15/2015 at 10:15am - health - by sparkus -



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: