Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

davincidasecond

Offline (41 minutes ago) | Search for a member

davincidasecond

2Liked!

davincidasecond
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 February 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3696
  • Number of comments : 569
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About davincidasecond : Weeeeell, I'm a:
Senior in college.
Rugby player/fan.
Comic book geek.
Guy who comes on FML to laugh.

Just a few things (out of thousands) to know about me. Feel free to shoot a message. But please, no creepers.

davincidasecond's page activity

Visits<b>_mittlieder_</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:53pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 12:12am<b>Foto_1</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 1:35pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 4:36pm<b>nattygracebell</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:38pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 3:04am<b>LeBaron2000</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:55am<b>Plastinate</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:07pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 10:24pm<b>rachgrrr19</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 10:39pm<b>jfreeman86</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:48pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:25pm<b>wvcheesehead</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 11:11pm<b>kjax</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 3:15pm<b>ilovesoccer1610</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 7:34pm<b>ifunnyftw</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 12:56pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:23am<b>rexza</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 4:47pm

Liked!<b>_mittlieder_</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 4:23am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:24am

davincidasecond's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of davincidasecond's badges

davincidasecond's favorite FMLs

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65455) - you deserved it (32785)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

#21108567
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39266) - you deserved it (5431)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by Max - United States

Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML

#21106078
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43548) - you deserved it (12767)

On 04/06/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44526) - you deserved it (3120)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was assigned to be the one to teach Grandpa how to use his new smartphone. An hour in, and we're still going over volume controls. FML

#21100846
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39968) - you deserved it (3929)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:24am - misc - by phantomthelabrat - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

#21099196
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44710) - you deserved it (3805)

On 03/29/2014 at 6:34am - work - by bringthemback (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

#21095315
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41345) - you deserved it (6114)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

#21094549
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40622) - you deserved it (6115)

On 03/23/2014 at 7:02pm - misc - by butterbody - United Kingdom

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

#21092916
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42104) - you deserved it (7767)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:42pm - misc - by BMTH2296 (man) - United States

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45651) - you deserved it (5939)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

#21092834
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38917) - you deserved it (3120)

On 03/21/2014 at 5:44pm - health - by iusedprotectionanyway (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went shopping for a wedding dress at a fancy store. The proprietor took one look at me, said they don't have any dresses large enough for me, and asked me to leave. No wonder my self-confidence is in the gutter. FML



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: