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davidisbeast

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davidisbeast
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 June 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 385
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About davidisbeast : Average 16 year old.
I like to sleep, eat, play video games, and playing sports
Message me. I don't bite!

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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davidisbeast's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

#21072136
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20936) - you deserved it (31562) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2014 at 4:45am - work - by sistermonster (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, after being worried for a week because my dog wasn't eating, I paid the vet $120 for her to tell me that my dog doesn't like her dog food. FML

#21069128
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34113) - you deserved it (6886)

On 02/23/2014 at 3:10am - animals - by dsamanthas - United States (California)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43648) - you deserved it (4550)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I called in sick at work because I have the flu. This is my first sick day in the 2 years I've worked there. It's also the day the CEO made a surprise visit. My co-workers all got generous salary increases, and some of them promotions. I'm not included, simply because I wasn't there. FML

Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML

#18500551
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8026) - you deserved it (31037)

On 12/13/2011 at 1:32am - health - by photomark - United States

Today, I caught my husband once again looking at half naked pictures of a friend of mine on Facebook. When I asked why he did it, he said "I was checking to see if they were still there." FML

#18296145
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23237) - you deserved it (4091)

On 11/20/2011 at 6:31am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

#6367890
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23062) - you deserved it (3190)

On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML

#5793265
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14648) - you deserved it (17388)

On 10/12/2009 at 8:34am - intimacy - by ravestradamus (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML

#5793265
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14648) - you deserved it (17388)

On 10/12/2009 at 8:34am - intimacy - by ravestradamus (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7240) - you deserved it (73127)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)



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