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dav3800's FML badges
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dav3800's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML
by lifesux / 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, our midterm exams were returned in my urban politics class. I had studied hard and scored 86%. The blonde girl next to me got a 92. Earlier in the semester she had asked me what state Detroit was in. FML
by Postdotfuzz / 12/07/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML
by Chels / 12/04/2009 at 1:27am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by wobbles / 12/04/2009 at 12:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me then "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty". FML
by amy1023 / 11/26/2009 at 5:18am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. They also took the inhaler that fell out of my bag the night before. The one I needed to stop the asthma attack I had from the stress of having my car broken into. FML
by trying2breathe / 11/22/2009 at 11:49am / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
Today, I auditioned for a part and made it because the director thought I would be "perfect" for the part and I was "just like the character in every way." The part is for a schizophrenic drug addict who everyone hates and is stabbed to death in the second scene. FML
by Falafax / 11/12/2009 at 4:37pm / United States / Work
Today, I found out that my daughter is dating my boss' daughter. I found this out because my extremely homophobic boss told me and wants me to 'heal' them or get fired. I didn't even know my daughter was gay. FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2009 at 12:51pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/31/2009 at 12:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by franzbiel / 10/31/2009 at 8:54am / Switzerland (Luzern) / Intimacy
by booste / 10/18/2009 at 12:06am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 5:31am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous
Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I realized the guy I've been hooking up with has a daughter who is a year younger than me. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also found out she had a child of her own. I've been hooking up with a grandpa. FML
by nen_00 / 09/14/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous