Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

datshistylizard1

Online | Search for a member

datshistylizard1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1141
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

datshistylizard1's page activity

Visits<b>kitcat517</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 6:22pm

datshistylizard1's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of datshistylizard1's badges

datshistylizard1's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15758) - you deserved it (1355)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28036) - you deserved it (2110)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

#21317143
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31142) - you deserved it (4006)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37509) - you deserved it (2163)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

#21315734
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19177) - you deserved it (24172)

On 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm - work - by IHateSchool-.- - United States

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

#21311570
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34699) - you deserved it (5328)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

#21307823
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37297) - you deserved it (2312)

On 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm - misc - by idiots - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

#21301400
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42304) - you deserved it (3519)

On 11/18/2014 at 1:57pm - misc - by steak through the heart - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML

Today, my father told me to "go get a job". He has been unemployed for 3 years. FML

#21300409
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27793) - you deserved it (2760)

On 11/16/2014 at 10:52pm - work - by username - United States (Indiana)

Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML

#21298328
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34988) - you deserved it (2074)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:17pm - misc - by really - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

#21293904
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37106) - you deserved it (3180)

On 11/07/2014 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

#21289257
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34542) - you deserved it (2153)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

#21289188
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34062) - you deserved it (2778)

On 10/31/2014 at 5:12pm - health - by peanutprobs - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

#21287570
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37878) - you deserved it (3618)

On 10/29/2014 at 9:09am - kids - by NoColor (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: