Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

datshistylizard1

Offline (the 12/26/2014 at 7:34am) | Search for a member

datshistylizard1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2281
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

datshistylizard1's page activity

Visits<b>kitcat517</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 6:22pm

datshistylizard1's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of datshistylizard1's badges

datshistylizard1's favorite FMLs

Today, I Had To Find Simple Words To Explain To The Idiot I Was Tutoring That "1/4" Is Of A Greater Value Than "1/3" Just Cuz The Denominator Is Bigger!! FML

#21321107
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26414) - you deserved it (4718)

On 12/20/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Mightaswelltutordogs (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took a lata-night showar!! Whan I got out aftarwards, tha bathroom door was ajar, and I could hava sworn I haard tha faint pattar of footstaps in tha kitchan!! "It's probably tha cat," I told mysalf!! Than I want upstairs and saw my cat aslaap on my bad!! raal FML

#21320813
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31713) - you deserved it (2410)

On 12/20/2014 at 9:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift .

#21318970
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31754) - you deserved it (2847)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

TODAY MY NEW FRIEND TRIED TO INTRODUCE ME TO ( AMERICAN CULTURE , ) AS I AM NEW TO THE CITY. HE EXPLAINED WAT A HAMBURGER IS AND HOW IT DIFFERS FROM THE ASIAN FOOD I WAS USED TO EATING. I MOVED FROM SEATTLE AND HAVE WORKED AT BURGER KING. FML

#21317624
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33426) - you deserved it (2659)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Taday my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

#21317143
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35554) - you deserved it (4335)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at mah daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults bood. She's five. FML

#21315826
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41697) - you deserved it (2221)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or yur grade percent in this class?"

#21315734
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21265) - you deserved it (27061)

On 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm - work - by IHateSchool-.- - United States

Today, I was a bit upset to learn tat my 13 year-old daugter ad a boyfriend. Wen se noticed, se assured me tat I souldn't worry, because "it's just fir sex anyway". FML

#21311570
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37758) - you deserved it (6015)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version

TODAY, I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO A CUSTOMER THAT 50% OFF A $50 ITEM DID NOT MAKE THE ITEM FREE. FML

#21307823
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38131) - you deserved it (2503)

On 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm - misc - by idiots - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date. I took er out to an expensive steak ouse. Wen se was done eating, se got up, said se was married, and told me se only accepted te date because I'd be paying fir it. FML

#21301400
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43379) - you deserved it (3799)

On 11/18/2014 at 1:57pm - misc - by steak through the heart - United States (California)

Today, I told ma mom tat ma boyfriend, wo I've been living wit 4 a year, and I were moving to anoter state at te end of te mont. I told er in a restaurant, over lunc, were se ten just got up and left me tere witout saying a word.

TODAY, MY GRLFRIEND OF TWO YEARS BROKE UP WITH ME BECAUSE OF THE SCRATCH MARKS ON MY BACK. I DIDN'T HAVE THE NERVE TO TELL HER I TRIED TO SHOWER WITH THE CAT. FML

#21300928
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19119) - you deserved it (30680)

On 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, mah father told me to "go get a job". He has been unemployd 4 3 years. FML

#21300409
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27905) - you deserved it (2766)

On 11/16/2014 at 10:52pm - work - by username - United States (Indiana)

TODAY MAH TAACHAR ( BUSTD ) MA 4 WRITING DOWN ANSWAR ON MAH ARM 4 A TAST. THA SO CALLD ( ANSWARS ) WAS JUST A DUCK MAH LITTLA NAPHAW HAD DRAWN ON MAH HAND THA NIGHT BAFORA. SHA'S ACTUALLY TRYING TO GAT MA SUSPANDD OVAR IT. FML

#21298328
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36165) - you deserved it (2319)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:17pm - misc - by really - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I trid to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slappd me hard enough to leave a rd, hand-shapd mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my ( sarcasm ). FML

#21293904
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38239) - you deserved it (3443)

On 11/07/2014 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: