Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

datshistylizard1

Search for a member

datshistylizard1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 695
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

datshistylizard1's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of datshistylizard1's badges

datshistylizard1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (9128)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

#21217678
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38115) - you deserved it (3004)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm - work - by Inthedumps (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50374) - you deserved it (9446)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34595) - you deserved it (2905)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49688) - you deserved it (6570)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the internet playing a game. I have a speech impediment, and the guy running it told me to get off his server for making fun of disabled people. FML

#21199175
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45443) - you deserved it (3772)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Wow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

#21197788
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47925) - you deserved it (6008)

On 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AJL - United States

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

#21197297
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48400) - you deserved it (4134)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML

#21197152
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34522) - you deserved it (24612)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:29am - money - by notacashier - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

#21192954
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39990) - you deserved it (6455)

On 06/29/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by Unknown - United States

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

#21192088
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47783) - you deserved it (3497)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51774) - you deserved it (4716)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML

#21191661
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45528) - you deserved it (4143)

On 06/28/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51791) - you deserved it (16787)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50851) - you deserved it (5892)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: