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darth1

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darth1
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 June 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 2058
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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darth1's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31174) - you deserved it (8181)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

#14234823
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27526) - you deserved it (11704)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

#14194626
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25494) - you deserved it (2595)

On 12/13/2010 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

#14000546
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13667) - you deserved it (37405)

On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML

#13560342
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34104) - you deserved it (9242)

On 10/23/2010 at 9:15am - misc - by drunkfacebookuser (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML

#13485741
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7745) - you deserved it (50079)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Nobody - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18448) - you deserved it (24614)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a strip tease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels and tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

#13272334
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21225) - you deserved it (7749)

On 10/01/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

#12959590
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27355) - you deserved it (2732)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Nothingonyou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for 2 months. FML

#12948650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31211) - you deserved it (4629)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:06pm - love - by drew - United States (Georgia)

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

#12837057
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30366) - you deserved it (7582)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out I sleepwalk. How you might ask? By awakening the moment just before I fell from the stairs. I was better off sleeping. FML

#12687982
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21078) - you deserved it (2041)

On 08/22/2010 at 7:51pm - misc - by Eloy Ymer - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28408) - you deserved it (32121)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16358) - you deserved it (66352)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML

#12069298
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23679) - you deserved it (5367)

On 07/23/2010 at 6:15pm - misc - by bored2death - United States



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