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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26351) - you deserved it (6101)
On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out I sleepwalk. How you might ask? By awakening the moment just before I fell from the stairs. I was better off sleeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18374) - you deserved it (1890)
On 08/22/2010 at 7:51pm - misc - by Eloy Ymer - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (24645)
On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13549) - you deserved it (52558)
On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21559) - you deserved it (5143)
On 07/23/2010 at 6:15pm - misc - by bored2death - United States
Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9735) - you deserved it (53307)
On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22789) - you deserved it (5777)
On 07/19/2010 at 9:59am - kids - by Cody (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15982) - you deserved it (8165)
On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6712) - you deserved it (45973)
On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6563) - you deserved it (17439)
On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5153) - you deserved it (17458)
On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40570) - you deserved it (30565)
On 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm - kids - by fuckmylife (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3565) - you deserved it (26143)
On 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (2404)
On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. And then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him. Giving me the evil eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23964) - you deserved it (1763)
On 01/21/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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