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darth1

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darth1
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 June 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 2051
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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darth1's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

#17261824
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31995) - you deserved it (8021)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29010) - you deserved it (86326)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57434) - you deserved it (3399)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to be extra nice to my girlfriend by washing all the dishes and folding all the clothes. She thought I was being "too nice" and hypothesized that I was cheating on her. FML

#16086182
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36087) - you deserved it (4750)

On 05/08/2011 at 1:05am - love - by gnownayrgnow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

#16068047
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12396) - you deserved it (45604)

On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

#15890797
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25969) - you deserved it (17873)

On 04/22/2011 at 9:39pm - kids - by NathanPlays - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to replace the lightbulb in my bedroom. Since I couldn't reach it by myself, I grabbed and stood on a chair. After I got two broken bones, and had stitches in my forehead, I figured that using a chair with wheels probably wasn't the best idea after all. FML

#15581627
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8512) - you deserved it (65367)

On 03/31/2011 at 10:23pm - misc - by owies :( - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52803) - you deserved it (26716)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39779) - you deserved it (27803)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML

#15441546
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9262) - you deserved it (31530)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by PFCdavila (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33480) - you deserved it (47497)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

#15068596
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22223) - you deserved it (2150)

On 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by peedonme (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, while at school, I slipped on a wet patch in the hall and fell over, smacking my head against the floor. I laid there for a good five minutes in agonizing pain while people literally walked over me. Not a single person bothered to help me up or ask if I was okay. FML

#14698877
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25884) - you deserved it (2941)

On 01/24/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by damnbananas (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML

#14698486
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27699) - you deserved it (4119)

On 01/24/2011 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

#14459916
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28665) - you deserved it (8531)

On 01/04/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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