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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29919) - you deserved it (43716)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21659) - you deserved it (2127)
On 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by peedonme (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, while at school, I slipped on a wet patch in the hall and fell over, smacking my head against the floor. I laid there for a good five minutes in agonizing pain while people literally walked over me. Not a single person bothered to help me up or ask if I was okay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25274) - you deserved it (2902)
On 01/24/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by damnbananas (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22830) - you deserved it (3278)
On 01/24/2011 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24400) - you deserved it (6711)
On 01/04/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29639) - you deserved it (8010)
On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -
Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23591) - you deserved it (9803)
On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21784) - you deserved it (2003)
On 12/13/2010 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11147) - you deserved it (29150)
On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33360) - you deserved it (9146)
On 10/23/2010 at 9:15am - misc - by drunkfacebookuser (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6475) - you deserved it (45122)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Nobody - United States (Texas)
Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15309) - you deserved it (18525)
On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a strip tease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels and tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18585) - you deserved it (6285)
On 10/01/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24184) - you deserved it (2520)
On 09/08/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Nothingonyou - Sent from mobile version
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for 2 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26634) - you deserved it (3659)
On 09/07/2010 at 1:06pm - love - by drew - United States (Georgia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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