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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16162) - you deserved it (32436)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33168) - you deserved it (2324)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23432) - you deserved it (6436)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7946) - you deserved it (24015)
On 08/18/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22091) - you deserved it (7804)
On 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm - work - by power corrupts... (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28634) - you deserved it (8927)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21810) - you deserved it (10259)
On 08/05/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10921) - you deserved it (41860)
On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8379) - you deserved it (16267)
On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29976) - you deserved it (6358)
On 07/28/2011 at 11:25am - health - by 99520 - United States (Indiana)
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27091) - you deserved it (6258)
On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (79453)
On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56468) - you deserved it (3357)
On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to be extra nice to my girlfriend by washing all the dishes and folding all the clothes. She thought I was being "too nice" and hypothesized that I was cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35610) - you deserved it (4723)
On 05/08/2011 at 1:05am - love - by gnownayrgnow (man) - United States (California)
Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10430) - you deserved it (36021)
On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia
Monday 17 June 2013
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