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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19122) - you deserved it (11348)
On 12/21/2011 at 7:07pm - work - by Tey - United States (Illinois)
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25492) - you deserved it (4489) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5890) - you deserved it (52586)
On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29107) - you deserved it (3680)
On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States
Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33250) - you deserved it (7072)
On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14285) - you deserved it (40970) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13029) - you deserved it (16347)
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20964) - you deserved it (5505)
On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27188) - you deserved it (3395)
On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40244) - you deserved it (3158)
On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16128) - you deserved it (32355)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33081) - you deserved it (2318)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23349) - you deserved it (6430)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7940) - you deserved it (23956)
On 08/18/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22036) - you deserved it (7796)
On 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm - work - by power corrupts... (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)
Friday 24 May 2013
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