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darrend1196

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darrend1196

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 November 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5189
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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darrend1196's page activity

Visits<b>Stripes12345</b> - yesterday at 10:46pm<b>spt</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:52am<b>jackroarrr</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:45pm<b>torio123</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 9:17pm<b>MLardinos</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 12:16am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:45pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 4:41pm<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:02pm<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 2:38pm<b>kassia_1011</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 3:09pm<b>ma12r</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 2:54pm<b>friendzonefml</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 8:54pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 12:30pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 12:13pm<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 1:42pm<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:02pm<b>noelsom7</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:34pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 8:12am

Fucked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:14pm<b>davered89</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 11:50am<b>Sydne11233</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 8:45pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:25pm<b>C00kiesNcream</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 9:07pm<b>SampleSext</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:15am<b>TheJm4jEst1c</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 3:01am

darrend1196's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of darrend1196's badges

darrend1196's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

#21347945
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30060) - you deserved it (2453)

On 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm - health - by okseñoryoucrazy - United States (Washington)

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35535) - you deserved it (9608)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (18283)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

#21256123
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36898) - you deserved it (2904)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:49am - work - by PerfectVision (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42178) - you deserved it (11761)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

#21248448
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32451) - you deserved it (5766)

On 08/30/2014 at 12:40pm - misc - by liilii (man) - India (Kerala)

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

#21208167
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40276) - you deserved it (4265)

On 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm - love - by justthinkofyourhand - United States (California)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47986) - you deserved it (4054)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50247) - you deserved it (5354)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

#21207995
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57565) - you deserved it (4870)

On 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML

#21207963
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38901) - you deserved it (6515)

On 07/13/2014 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42348) - you deserved it (6261)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58408) - you deserved it (7244)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43265) - you deserved it (14461)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53126) - you deserved it (8251)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)



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