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darrend1196

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darrend1196

15Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 November 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8439
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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darrend1196's page activity

Visits<b>Bonngoo</b> - yesterday at 9:11am<b>Kristijan</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 6:23pm<b>333_333</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 4:57am<b>SebastianCT</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 4:13pm<b>TheLemonMan</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 10:08pm<b>SmurfySadia</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 11:02pm<b>styles829</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 11:39pm<b>happypenguins</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 10:27pm<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 7:14pm<b>iAlissa</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:05pm<b>thebiteof87</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:25pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 3:43pm<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:13am<b>clapdatassidy</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 11:25am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 5:12pm<b>KaidensCrow</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 4:42am<b>ChillChick17</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 2:40pm

Fucked!<b>Bonngoo</b> - yesterday at 3:11pm<b>Kristijan</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 12:23am<b>KaidensCrow</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:42am<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:55pm<b>djdude0562</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 9:25pm<b>marcusterry</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:07pm<b>crepesuzette</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 11:50pm<b>MadMaxy</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 3:35am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:14pm<b>davered89</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 11:50am<b>Sydne11233</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 8:45pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:25pm<b>C00kiesNcream</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 9:07pm<b>SampleSext</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:15am<b>TheJm4jEst1c</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 3:01am

darrend1196's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of darrend1196's badges

darrend1196's favorite FMLs

Today, I came inside a girl's vagina by accident. Neither one of us wants her to be pregnant, and I had to spend half an hour with her sitting on my face, while I sucked my own cum out of her. I don't even know if this will work. FML

#21524955
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7772) - you deserved it (41361)

On 02/10/2016 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by nickncik (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

#21495080
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (2158)

On 11/21/2015 at 5:03am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

#21479950
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24989) - you deserved it (2861)

On 10/14/2015 at 10:29am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a nightmare and woke up terrified, scaring my roommate. What was the dream? That I'd had a panic attack because my box of Honey Nut Cheerios was torn and the bag inside was improperly folded. FML

Today, my boyfriend thought I was going to ask him if we wanted children together. Instead of talking about it, he pretended to have a violent seizure and die. FML

#21465257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23512) - you deserved it (2500)

On 09/06/2015 at 2:33pm - love - by tessie94 (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I tried to vacuum to surprise my mom with a clean house. The vacuum started shorting out, sparked, and then burst into flames mid living room. FML

#21456542
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25248) - you deserved it (1964)

On 08/16/2015 at 12:10am - misc - by fire starter - United States (California)

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

#21443029
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24804) - you deserved it (4048)

On 07/17/2015 at 1:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

#21347945
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32398) - you deserved it (2810)

On 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm - health - by okseñoryoucrazy - United States (Washington)

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37741) - you deserved it (10148)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35148) - you deserved it (20029)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

#21256123
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39352) - you deserved it (3120)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:49am - work - by PerfectVision (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45965) - you deserved it (13446)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

#21248448
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35300) - you deserved it (6410)

On 08/30/2014 at 12:40pm - misc - by liilii (man) - India (Kerala)

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

#21208167
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43959) - you deserved it (4809)

On 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm - love - by justthinkofyourhand - United States (California)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49762) - you deserved it (4202)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands



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