darnellq

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darnellq

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 977
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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darnellq's page activity

Visits<b>wafflelover</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 8:31am<b>rebecca_lobaina</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 8:51am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 10:00am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 8:21pm<b>DenBriZel</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:52am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:18am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 10:50am<b>klovemachine</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 8:47am<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:39pm<b>mkrbrox</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 6:46pm<b>Fidge86</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:07pm<b>kaitieloo</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 10:39am<b>alljackedup7</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 12:04am<b>Patty410</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 8:58pm<b>DashyMillex</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 4:19pm<b>Elle_ShellBelle</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 1:46am<b>retyi43</b> - the 04/29/2012 at 2:54pm<b>dano949</b> - the 10/05/2011 at 1:35pm

darnellq's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of darnellq's badges

darnellq's favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

by scaredinnyc / 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

by SebastianMiko / 11/09/2012 at 2:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

by aranya / 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Intimacy

Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML

by yeyt209 / 06/10/2012 at 3:46am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2012 at 6:41pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

by hatinthelife / 02/18/2012 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

by ABBenzin / 02/01/2012 at 11:11am / United States / Work

Today, I had my first chorus concert. We got a bigger applause when we left the stage than when we sang. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2012 at 4:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first chorus concert. We got a bigger applause when we left the stage than when we sang. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2012 at 4:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was accepted into a police academy. I called my girlfriend of 2 years, who was supportive through the process. She promptly broke up with me, stating, "You'll be really busy in the academy, and I can't marry a police officer. Its a dangerous job." And then called me selfish for "doing this to us." FML

by FuturePolice / 01/23/2012 at 4:56am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

by danii / 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous