About darkwell : I like jokes and hate most people because they are boring. If your not boring your cool.
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darkwell's favorite FMLs
by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
by ashhatches / 06/27/2011 at 3:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/27/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 5:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:46am / France / Transportation
by life_sucks / 01/16/2010 at 1:46pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Animals
by zappy / 10/11/2009 at 12:40am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
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- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of…