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darksunshinegirl

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darksunshinegirl

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 140
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About darksunshinegirl : @daarksunshinee on Twitter
daarksunshinee.tumblr.com on Tumblr
@daarksunshinee on Instagram

look me up, follow me, figure me out.

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darksunshinegirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

#19389998
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9620) - you deserved it (22196)

On 04/01/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Zack - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

#19387576
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (2947)

On 04/01/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML

#19372815
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11193) - you deserved it (19936)

On 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that something's wrong when you have to go to a mental hospital for a family reunion. FML

#19367140
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24449) - you deserved it (1780)

On 03/28/2012 at 10:53pm - misc - by neverthesame - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

#19281871
93 comments

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29604) - you deserved it (3285)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

#19279551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34711) - you deserved it (2508)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33056) - you deserved it (5862)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

#19277377
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13641) - you deserved it (28330)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

#19276990
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24964) - you deserved it (3038)

On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
217 comments

Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML

#18972583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22314) - you deserved it (2871)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:11pm - kids - by Bruce (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted: "Nice to meet your dad, hope we didn't look too heated." A few minutes later, he replied: "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML

#18961404
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25790) - you deserved it (8815)

On 01/31/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by B - Netherlands

Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML

#18951415
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10692) - you deserved it (42687)

On 01/30/2012 at 10:27am - health - by cbad (woman) - United States

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20329) - you deserved it (2805)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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