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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34933) - you deserved it (2440)
On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was"Best positions for a small penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (73882) - you deserved it (9460)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72579) - you deserved it (10080)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was looking at the skeleton of a human male that we have in out biology classroom. I picked up the hand to examine the bones in the finger, and had the sudden realization that this is the only time that I have held hands with a boy. I'm a junior in college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46368) - you deserved it (6174)
On 05/28/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (78667) - you deserved it (15584)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66229) - you deserved it (8187)
On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I decided I didn't care about my pride, and so I asked this girl out in a text. After an hour of no responce I asked again. Later I got a text saying, "I'm sorry, This is Emily's mom. Emily isn't here at the moment, but if I were you, I wouldn't ask again." I was rejected by her mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43799) - you deserved it (11848)
On 05/11/2009 at 9:25pm - love - by ConnorFails (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (84811) - you deserved it (16569)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75947) - you deserved it (203206)
On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)
Today, my wife and I decided it would be funny to pull a prank on her family who we were going to see for dinner. I hid in the foyer while she went in and announced to her parents that she was leaving me. I watched as her mother hugged her daughter and cried "Finally..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55681) - you deserved it (15441)
On 05/01/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by goner - United States (New York)
Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55737) - you deserved it (6896)
On 04/26/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by Tal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23507) - you deserved it (55775)
On 04/23/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by gabormelchior (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (79746) - you deserved it (12410)
On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had a substitute teacher for my dance class. I noticed at one point, he took out a camera. The principle came in, everyone was going crazy, and the teacher was dragged out of the classroom. He was taking videos and pictures of us dancing. Turns out he was a registered sex offender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85984) - you deserved it (3666)
On 04/20/2009 at 7:05pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59903) - you deserved it (16692)
On 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Monday 20 May 2013
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