Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

darkoneko

Offline (the 06/06/2014 at 11:17pm) | Search for a member

darkoneko

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 July 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 652
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About darkoneko : Sorry for not speaking English very well, I've never been into an English speaking country...

darkoneko's page activity

Visits<b>BTF989</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 8:22pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/15/2010 at 12:14am<b>urcadox</b> - the 12/14/2010 at 8:00pm<b>Ninjafriends</b> - the 12/14/2010 at 6:21pm<b>Daniman</b> - the 11/17/2009 at 3:50am<b>Dush</b> - the 07/13/2009 at 8:47pm

darkoneko's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of darkoneko's badges

darkoneko's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

#14985467
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10014) - you deserved it (58730)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46771) - you deserved it (9265)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

#14653951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40377) - you deserved it (3412)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54705) - you deserved it (2659)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

#13413623
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34279) - you deserved it (2649)

On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

#13276180
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22223) - you deserved it (2584)

On 10/01/2010 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. I tried to hide my sadness from my mom. She still noticed, and tried to cheer me up. She took me to a funeral. FML

#13260276
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29006) - you deserved it (2738)

On 09/30/2010 at 4:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37332) - you deserved it (12205)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I awkwardly had to comfort my 32 year old friend when he broke down crying in the middle of a crowded McDonald's. Apparently they no longer serve barbecue bacon cheeseburgers. FML

#12973332
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27637) - you deserved it (3322)

On 09/09/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML

#12971497
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24238) - you deserved it (9318)

On 09/09/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by niccy (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after being with my boyfriend for seven years, he finally proposed. To another woman. FML

#12964178
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42343) - you deserved it (3677)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:46pm - love - by onthemarket (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for 2 months. FML

#12948650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32590) - you deserved it (4749)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:06pm - love - by drew - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

#12924795
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21244) - you deserved it (2859)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41752) - you deserved it (12571)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: