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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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darkoneko

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darkoneko
  • Town/Country : france
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 July 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 317
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About darkoneko : Sorry for not speaking English very well, I've never been into an English speaking country...

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darkoneko's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

#14985467 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (6864) - you deserved it (41758)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (37311) - you deserved it (7183)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

#14653951 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (30602) - you deserved it (2302)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

#14164412 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (26769) - you deserved it (45847)

On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (37856) - you deserved it (1612)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

#13413623 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (26184) - you deserved it (1838)

On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

#13276180 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (15457) - you deserved it (1752)

On 10/01/2010 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. I tried to hide my sadness from my mom. She still noticed, and tried to cheer me up. She took me to a funeral. FML

#13260276 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (22097) - you deserved it (1925)

On 09/30/2010 at 4:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (28570) - you deserved it (8467)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I awkwardly had to comfort my 32 year old friend when he broke down crying in the middle of a crowded McDonald's. Apparently they no longer serve barbecue bacon cheeseburgers. FML

#12973332 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (20669) - you deserved it (2254)

On 09/09/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML

#12971497 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (17047) - you deserved it (6535)

On 09/09/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by niccy (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after being with my boyfriend for seven years, he finally proposed. To another woman. FML

#12964178 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (33001) - you deserved it (2565)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:46pm - love - by onthemarket (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for 2 months. FML

#12948650 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (24474) - you deserved it (3400)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:06pm - love - by drew - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

#12924795 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (14810) - you deserved it (1904)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495 (282)

I agree, your life sucks (32421) - you deserved it (8883)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)