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darkestnight95

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darkestnight95

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  • Number of visits : 470
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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darkestnight95's page activity

Visits<b>yosh117</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 12:03am

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darkestnight95's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

#15600756
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32072) - you deserved it (11358)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:35am - kids - by Viciousvixen_21 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to look up how to eat a mango on the internet. FML

#7021786
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8275) - you deserved it (33291)

On 12/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by mylifeissad (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I sent my resume to a place where I hoped to work at. Since the job requires me to be doing work on the run, I put on it that I have a laptop. The only problem is that I always thought it was "labtop." I didn't learn the correct spelling until my daughter called me an idiot, she's 6. FML

#6859638
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4868) - you deserved it (37165)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:04am - work - by eliteslayer29 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the power went out at work. As everyone left the building to go home, the owner came in to inform me that, since the phones were on a battery back up, I would be staying to man them. The phones rang 2 times in the 4 hours I sat in the dark by myself. Both times were telemarketers. FML

#5851329
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29606) - you deserved it (1874)

On 10/16/2009 at 1:27pm - work - by devakii (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

#4499384
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67921) - you deserved it (7623)

On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57857) - you deserved it (26189)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

#1033363
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35996) - you deserved it (310904)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (667990) - you deserved it (449166)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML

#159713
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18193) - you deserved it (43969)

On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1169923) - you deserved it (125947)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1169923) - you deserved it (125947)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
753 comments

I agree, your life sucks (784474) - you deserved it (83015)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I fell asleep in my driver's ed class, and I woke up in a middle of a dream laughing. Everyone stared at me. I found out that the teacher had just finished talking about his vegetative niece who didn't wear a seat belt. FML

#43148
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14727) - you deserved it (33030)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Biggest Jerk (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

#2244
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7420) - you deserved it (26243)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)



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