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darkestnight95

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darkestnight95

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  • Number of visits : 425
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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darkestnight95's page activity

Visits<b>yosh117</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 12:03am

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darkestnight95's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

#17999888
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30030) - you deserved it (5808) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - work - by Mayabie - France

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

#17996037
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35430) - you deserved it (4982)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

#17987492
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42432) - you deserved it (3494)

On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54843) - you deserved it (5409)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27964) - you deserved it (11469)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML

#17735426
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22783) - you deserved it (3609)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by OopsMonkey - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML

#17527301
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32621) - you deserved it (2704)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by RensM (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

#17526290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33238) - you deserved it (4471)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34371) - you deserved it (9557)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

#17004693
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51109) - you deserved it (5596)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

#16524791
575 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95534) - you deserved it (10481)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML

#16468673
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38365) - you deserved it (5400)

On 06/02/2011 at 2:43pm - kids - by fuck (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21122) - you deserved it (42344)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with tic tac. FML

#16129484
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44239) - you deserved it (3761)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while changing a light bulb, I was electrocuted. I screamed before I blacked out. My entire family was home and heard me scream, but didn't come and check because they were too busy watching Glee. FML

#16122609
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41688) - you deserved it (6913)

On 05/10/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (New York)



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