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darkenedone

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darkenedone
  • Town/Country : Guelph, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 July 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 133
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About darkenedone : I may or may not be a mailbox.

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darkenedone's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42873) - you deserved it (2473)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

#21094283
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32145) - you deserved it (3084)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

#21091940
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15618) - you deserved it (59938)

On 03/20/2014 at 5:03pm - misc - by screwed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24171) - you deserved it (53359)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38332) - you deserved it (2365)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25773) - you deserved it (37141)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing hysterically, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36102) - you deserved it (2463)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48747) - you deserved it (4019)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML

#20637622
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48564) - you deserved it (2787)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil

Today, my downstairs neighbor died. I knew because the smell wafted up to my apartment. FML

#19008495
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25725) - you deserved it (2100)

On 02/06/2012 at 5:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

#18997714
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11966) - you deserved it (25381)

On 02/05/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by inked - United States (Alabama)

Today, my parents had a long discussion on whether a cut on my arm looked like a vagina. FML

#18921223
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20392) - you deserved it (1914)

On 01/26/2012 at 11:07pm - misc - by HylianFox (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML

#18898417
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33439) - you deserved it (2891)

On 01/24/2012 at 12:31pm - love - by Allergic (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24410) - you deserved it (1817)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

#18812835
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29107) - you deserved it (3153)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:24am - misc - by lolwtfbbq444 - Australia



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