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darkenedone

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darkenedone

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 July 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 189
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About darkenedone : I may or may not be a mailbox.

darkenedone's page activity

Visits<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:37am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 6:30pm<b>julie271</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 3:04am<b>bruce17</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 10:46pm<b>sloths96</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 7:48pm<b>agim907</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 4:25pm

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darkenedone's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40429) - you deserved it (4650)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22069) - you deserved it (36145)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45885) - you deserved it (5302)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48656) - you deserved it (16273)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

#21129302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24631) - you deserved it (32330)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

#21121912
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42508) - you deserved it (3540)

On 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm - animals - by now have a cat - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47250) - you deserved it (2976)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

#21094283
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33786) - you deserved it (3247)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

#21091940
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16481) - you deserved it (62515)

On 03/20/2014 at 5:03pm - misc - by screwed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25308) - you deserved it (55545)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40639) - you deserved it (2731)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27192) - you deserved it (39033)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39382) - you deserved it (2925)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50472) - you deserved it (4171)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)



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