About darkenedkitten : i love video games.
darkenedkitten's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
darkenedkitten's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by erpuchi / 11/30/2010 at 8:52pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Intimacy
by crushed / 11/30/2010 at 12:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Taylor parsons / 10/29/2010 at 12:48am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts "GO F YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2010 at 12:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML
by Deidle-dee / 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML
by sly / 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
by maebyf / 08/31/2010 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by bkay26 / 08/29/2010 at 11:37am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Hobbsie / 08/29/2010 at 12:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
by Anonymous / 08/27/2010 at 5:15am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML
by Eeeek / 08/26/2010 at 5:17pm / Bulgaria (Varna) / Intimacy
- Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We… Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating… Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the…