Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

darkenedkitten

Search for a member

darkenedkitten

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 October 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 764
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About darkenedkitten : i love video games.

darkenedkitten's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:54pm<b>nicholaslim</b> - the 12/29/2010 at 3:54am<b>luv4xlr8ion</b> - the 10/04/2010 at 11:31am<b>zdani</b> - the 08/22/2010 at 9:39pm<b>buzz18</b> - the 07/26/2010 at 2:20pm<b>fuck_this_shit_5</b> - the 07/23/2010 at 11:59am<b>selenagirl</b> - the 07/21/2010 at 7:33am<b>broken_symlink</b> - the 07/18/2010 at 9:28pm<b>Saudade</b> - the 07/18/2010 at 8:37am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 06/24/2010 at 12:40am<b>Snugglez</b> - the 06/22/2010 at 8:23pm<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 06/22/2010 at 3:36pm<b>rallets</b> - the 06/20/2010 at 10:30pm<b>Chaith</b> - the 06/18/2010 at 12:24pm<b>Aero_boy</b> - the 06/16/2010 at 11:37pm

darkenedkitten's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of darkenedkitten's badges

darkenedkitten's favorite FMLs

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57955) - you deserved it (10568)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML

#14040303
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25872) - you deserved it (6320)

On 11/30/2010 at 8:52pm - intimacy - by erpuchi (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I found out my girlfriend had sex with three different guys in one day. All at a party. A party that I was at. FML

#14035490
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45523) - you deserved it (6342)

On 11/30/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by crushed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62795) - you deserved it (8978)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

#13634114
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29582) - you deserved it (6684)

On 10/29/2010 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Taylor parsons - United States (Alabama)

Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts "GO F YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML

#13622060
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26632) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

#13601704
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34485) - you deserved it (4061)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Deidle-dee - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

#13592451
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40313) - you deserved it (3868)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29435) - you deserved it (4497)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

#12837026
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37746) - you deserved it (7608)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

#12803986
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30853) - you deserved it (6671)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12258) - you deserved it (25774)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34248) - you deserved it (22713)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40288) - you deserved it (4396)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML

#12758397
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11579) - you deserved it (46249)

On 08/26/2010 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Eeeek (woman) - Bulgaria (Varna)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: