darkenedkitten

Search for a member

darkenedkitten

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 October 1988 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1074
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About darkenedkitten : i love video games.

darkenedkitten's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:54pm<b>nicholaslim</b> - the 12/29/2010 at 3:54am<b>luv4xlr8ion</b> - the 10/04/2010 at 11:31am<b>zdani</b> - the 08/22/2010 at 9:39pm<b>buzz18</b> - the 07/26/2010 at 2:20pm<b>fuck_this_shit_5</b> - the 07/23/2010 at 11:59am<b>selenagirl</b> - the 07/21/2010 at 7:33am<b>Saudade</b> - the 07/18/2010 at 8:37am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 06/24/2010 at 12:40am<b>Snugglez</b> - the 06/22/2010 at 8:23pm<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 06/22/2010 at 3:36pm<b>rallets</b> - the 06/20/2010 at 10:30pm<b>Chaith</b> - the 06/18/2010 at 12:24pm<b>Aero_boy</b> - the 06/16/2010 at 11:37pm

darkenedkitten's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of darkenedkitten's badges

darkenedkitten's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

by LucidNightmare / 01/27/2013 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

by ohmaigawd / 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm / Argentina / Intimacy

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

by INside / 08/02/2011 at 12:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

by bob / 02/05/2011 at 7:02am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML

by em / 02/05/2011 at 4:32am / United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire) / Love

Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her facebook status changed to "In a relationship". This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML

by sadman / 02/05/2011 at 2:16am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

by gummy bear / 01/21/2011 at 6:41am / Love

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Love

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy