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dark_mamba945

Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 12:01am) | Search for a member

dark_mamba945

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dark_mamba945
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 January 1993 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1657
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dark_mamba945's page activity

Visits<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:50am<b>Skycop_S</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 6:18pm<b>SabrinaBrown</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 4:25pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 11:23pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 9:18am<b>DAKILA</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 11:27am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 11:11am

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dark_mamba945's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

#21521379
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23099) - you deserved it (5033)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told my grandpa that I want to join the police force. His response: "You wanna lynch some blacks without the jail time, eh?" FML

#21521366
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20253) - you deserved it (2190)

On 01/31/2016 at 3:13am - work - by onlyjuggalos (man) - United States

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

#21520041
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (2721)

On 01/27/2016 at 11:35am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

#21512451
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28394) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/07/2016 at 7:00am - intimacy - by anne (woman) - Germany

Today, I showed my husband a recipe for the meal I wanted us to make tonight. He saw cumin was an ingredient and broke into hysterics. By the time he managed to stop laughing, he gasped that he couldn't eat something "with cumin it" and broke down laughing again. FML

#21508031
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19931) - you deserved it (2807)

On 12/26/2015 at 8:41am - misc - by -__- (woman) -

Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML

#21507994
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you deserved it (3873)

On 12/26/2015 at 3:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was given the following pearls of wisdom: "My grandmother always told me, if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Anyway, she was a cunt and so are you." Thanks, dad. Thanks. FML

#21502783
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20187) - you deserved it (1954)

On 12/11/2015 at 11:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML

#21492751
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21103) - you deserved it (2543)

On 11/15/2015 at 10:21am - kids - by michelle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

#21477939
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29410) - you deserved it (4148)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by not impressed (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML

#21469567
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35397) - you deserved it (2449)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm - kids - by Angus (man) - France

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

#21460883
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23926) - you deserved it (2237)

On 08/26/2015 at 8:31am - love - by Ananimus (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25424) - you deserved it (6718)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25799) - you deserved it (10249)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33417) - you deserved it (4609)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my current boyfriend was so impressed by my blowjob abilities he sent my ex-boyfriend a message saying thanks. FML

#21454601
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29472) - you deserved it (5955)

On 08/11/2015 at 12:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous -



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