darien987

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darien987

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 912
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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darien987's page activity

Visits<b>tweak2011</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 6:33am<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 10:19am<b>AwkwardBookworm</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 5:27pm<b>louiec</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 2:19am<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 3:19pm<b>Myorafield</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:38pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:16am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 10:59am<b>facelick</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:39pm<b>jezzilla</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 10:50pm<b>FALCONLOVERXXX</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 9:27am<b>freezingmylife</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 3:00pm<b>weraru</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:11am<b>Spyingcheeseman</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 7:20am<b>Classy_Turtle</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 8:58pm<b>eyunayev</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 9:14am<b>michel242o</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 10:51pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 4:11am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 2:16pm

darien987's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

darien987's favorite FMLs

Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML

by emi / 07/01/2012 at 12:30am / Animals

Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML

by Catherine / 06/10/2012 at 2:11pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Money

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

by LaurenB / 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I got into a fight with my mom, and stormed out of the house. I walked two blocks before realizing that I have no place to go, and no friends to vent to. FML

by edhere4u2nv / 06/06/2012 at 2:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

by gonavybeatarmy / 05/31/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my first ever job interview, in a totally stressed out state. The employer's first question was: "What's your name?" I forgot. FML

by Anonyme / 05/29/2012 at 6:19am / Work

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

by anonymous4991 / 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

by sigh / 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

by Taylor Easley / 03/17/2012 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

by CierraJordan / 03/14/2012 at 7:31am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous