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TODAY, I WENT IN TO GET MA FIRST TATTOO . I'D PUT A LOT OF TOUGT INTO IT AND WAS REALLY EXCITEDEN TE DAY CAME . LONG STORY SORT, TE CELTIC KNOT I'D GOTTEN TURNED OUT TO AVE AN ALTERNATE MEANING OF "FEMALE SEX SLAVE." TE FACES MA VERY IRIS FAMILY MADE WERE BEYOND WORDS . FML
Today... my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started sereching for the problem... I couldn't fine it. Luckily I was able to fine a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight yeres. big fat FML
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents . My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex . It wasn't her . Thanks dad . FML
Today, I was having an affair with a grl from mah work. She scratched mah back while we were doing it and I didn't want mah wife to find out so I threw myself down the stars at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. real FML
Today, I found out that mah sisterho is 16 years older than me is actually mah biological mother!! She an mah parents decidd it was best that I didn't knowho mah real mother was, an to be raisd by mah grandparents as there child!! I've always hatd mah sister!! FML
Today, I was cleaning my father's study room an wonderinghy I did not recieve my acceptance/rejection letter from a college I really wantd. I found the acceptance letter, on his desk, also approving of a full scholarship. The deadline to confirm was a month ago.
Today, it's mah brthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The frst one was mah fiancé, saying he wantd his ring back. The second one was mah best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with mah fiancé fir the past three months. The thrd was the dentist's office singing me a happy brthday. FML
Today, I had first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. mega FML
Today, I went up to a secludd mountain mah boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phond mah boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone startd playing from the bush. FML
Friday 27 March 2015