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danthehuman

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danthehuman

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 July 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 400
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About danthehuman : Hi. I've been on FML a couple of years. Just here to have fun :). I also play RTS games on Gameranger. If anyone plays AOE III or things like that, don't hesitate to message me.

danthehuman's page activity

Visits<b>abattior</b> - 2 hours ago<b>WoldowJR</b> - 2 hours ago<b>99treee</b> - yesterday at 11:27pm<b>423</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 2:19am<b>tommylover842</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 12:56am<b>MrSassypants</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:57pm<b>lfrider92</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 2:44pm<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:43am<b>Mindset</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 10:42pm<b>roroyerboat</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 9:48pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 9:40pm<b>Lanker</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:12pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:49pm<b>ItsMissLia</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:41pm<b>radigen</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:07pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 4:49pm<b>Maddiekaye123</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 4:15pm<b>squidreef</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 1:50pm

Liked!<b>msid9999</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:59am

danthehuman's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of danthehuman's badges

danthehuman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27586) - you deserved it (2857)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35903) - you deserved it (5099)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32321) - you deserved it (4423)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35509) - you deserved it (7077)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

#21271247
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38820) - you deserved it (2483)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm - health - by Eww - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41348) - you deserved it (5088)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32047) - you deserved it (3546)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38930) - you deserved it (5553)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39620) - you deserved it (3572)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41040) - you deserved it (4329)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started my first teaching job ever. As I was teaching, another teacher interrupted my class about 5 times because she thought it was her class. Not only did she ruin my confidence, her behavior caused my students to laugh at me. FML

#21253844
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34617) - you deserved it (2432)

On 09/07/2014 at 5:05pm - work - by teacher (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)



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