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danthehuman

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danthehuman

12Fucked!

danthehuman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 July 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5480
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About danthehuman : Hi. I've been on FML a couple of years. Just here to have fun :). I'm a HUGE HOMESTUCK trash person as well as a total weeb, you have been warned!

danthehuman's page activity

Visits<b>sweetie808</b> - yesterday at 3:11am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - yesterday at 10:47pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - yesterday at 5:16pm<b>symfora</b> - yesterday at 10:35am<b>TheTshirt</b> - yesterday at 9:39am<b>stereomommy</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 3:51pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:05pm<b>BrokenLinks</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 3:30am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:05am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 9:49am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:05am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 4:14pm<b>trucker2</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 1:53pm<b>zombie4life283</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:33am<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Bobegan</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:24am<b>_ExcitedPotato_</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 8:24am<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 5:28am

Fucked!<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - yesterday at 11:59am<b>gigistar15</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:29pm<b>Darkblade21</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:47pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:55am<b>horseh</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:41am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 2:29am<b>mccrightp</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:04pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:30pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:36pm<b>MrDonSalvetti</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 3:18pm<b>msid9999</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:59am

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danthehuman's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

#21462545
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15869) - you deserved it (1132)

On 08/30/2015 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I planned on telling the girl I like that I have feelings for her. What I didn't plan on was having a panic attack and whispering "I really like you!" super creepily and immediately saying "bye" and running away in shame. FML

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

#21459438
162 comments

Today, my boss bitched me out for violating workplace privacy, after he found an FML post from last year that eerily resembled a situation that happened the same year. He thought I posted it and twisted things to make him look like an idiot. I've never posted here in my life. FML

#21458477
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25106) - you deserved it (2315)

On 08/20/2015 at 1:48pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24516) - you deserved it (8946)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, I realized how cheap I am when I blacked out at a water park and some one yelled "Call 911!" I tried to mutter out "No, that's too expensive!" FML

#21456805
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14658) - you deserved it (13878)

On 08/16/2015 at 6:14pm - health - by extremereviews - United States (Texas)

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

#21455960
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30906) - you deserved it (1371)

On 08/14/2015 at 11:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, I realised that my closeted gay friend has dated more women this year than I have in my 28 years of life. FML

#21453604
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23474) - you deserved it (2451)

On 08/08/2015 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, I realised that my closeted gay friend has dated more women this year than I have in my 28 years of life. FML

#21453604
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23474) - you deserved it (2451)

On 08/08/2015 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, I fed my 4ft python a live rat for the first time. He now has a new friend he won't let me near. FML

Today, I entered a painting I'd worked on for weeks into an art competition. I won nothing. I wouldn't care so much if the guy I lost out to hadn't submitted a blank canvas and called it a "conceptual piece". FML

#21452227
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24876) - you deserved it (1685)

On 08/05/2015 at 12:47pm - misc - by thekyledavid (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

#21452187
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22111) - you deserved it (4082)

On 08/05/2015 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while shaving in the shower, my mother banged on the bathroom door to tell me something, right as I went to shave under my left armpit, causing me to jump and cut open my nipple. FML

#21451832
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24283) - you deserved it (1852)

On 08/04/2015 at 4:56pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, while trying to quit my horrible job at a pizza place, I got so nervous that I accidentally offered to work double my usual hours for another month. FML

#21451712
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20584) - you deserved it (14301)

On 08/04/2015 at 9:31am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

#21444515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28007) - you deserved it (7725)

On 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by Marika - United States (California)



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