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danthehuman

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danthehuman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 July 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 711
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About danthehuman : Hi. I've been on FML a couple of years. Just here to have fun :). I also play RTS games on Gameranger. If anyone plays AOE III or things like that, don't hesitate to message me.

danthehuman's page activity

Visits<b>Emzinatorbot</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:55pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 11:32pm<b>crazycountry81</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 8:01pm<b>yuggi1</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 11:59am<b>berryjones11024</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:02am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 8:09am<b>thatoneguy2a</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 1:17am<b>makeda_3</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 10:36pm<b>derpina72</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 2:58pm<b>edvin</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 8:09pm<b>Ev3d11</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 12:22am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 3:30am<b>cameronaka</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 11:59pm<b>akkianjum</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 10:13pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 7:41pm<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 7:28pm<b>99treee</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:27pm<b>423</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 2:19am

Liked!<b>msid9999</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:59am

danthehuman's FML badges

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danthehuman's favorite FMLs

Today, my little brother learned about mortality when our dog died. Since then, he's gone a little nuts and keeps ranting that he sees no point as to why our other dog should live. He's 16. FML

#21306062
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21557) - you deserved it (1623)

On 11/26/2014 at 7:09am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I learned that if life gives you lemons, your sister is going to squeeze them over your face while you take a nap on the couch. FML

#21303546
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25594) - you deserved it (1905)

On 11/21/2014 at 9:00pm - misc - by ShutUp007 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

#21302784
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30877) - you deserved it (3505)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34923) - you deserved it (3041)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40861) - you deserved it (3024)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML

#21298328
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34681) - you deserved it (2068)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:17pm - misc - by really - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while shopping, a lady came up to me and asked if she could borrow my baby because, "Y'know, I'm in a hurry and they'll let me checkout first." FML

#21297177
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31905) - you deserved it (2220)

On 11/11/2014 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - France

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39734) - you deserved it (3412)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I swapped out my maternity gown for a regular old t-shirt. My visiting mother-in-law called me a fatass and said I need to lose weight. I'd given birth just 40 hours earlier. FML

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16345) - you deserved it (29954)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found a $20 bill on the ground, so I decided to pick it up. It was actually attached to a string and was meant to be a prank by some kids. They failed miserably, so I took the money. They ran up to me and punched me in the balls for taking their cash. FML

#21290736
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32872) - you deserved it (6357)

On 11/02/2014 at 7:11pm - money - by ethawesome1125 - United States (Texas)

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32270) - you deserved it (2883)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML

#21288559
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31054) - you deserved it (3204)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by wow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25974) - you deserved it (21292)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27624) - you deserved it (11562)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)



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