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dannij08

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dannij08
  • Town/Country : Elk Grove, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 November 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 8654
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 12 posted

About dannij08 : im daniel, from elkgrove, ca. i go to sac state. i am considered a blonde at heart by my friends. and decided to share my blonde moments with you all!

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dannij08's favorite FMLs

Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML

#1026583 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (69452) - you deserved it (5811)

On 04/16/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by Puppysit88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut M&M's at work when I exclaimed "oh cool they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes but I did eventually realize that I was looking at a regular M&M sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (9171) - you deserved it (53385)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML

#782957 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (16808) - you deserved it (52516)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by healey16 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

#741988 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (72970) - you deserved it (12568)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML

#706614 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (58653)

On 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm - work - by Donzai (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141722) - you deserved it (53039)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I hid my credit card from myself so I wouldn't use it. Now I can't find it. FML

#2823 (45)

I agree, your life sucks (4550) - you deserved it (30366)

On 01/27/2009 at 11:47am - money - by dannij08 - United States (California)

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

#1052 (33)

I agree, your life sucks (3160) - you deserved it (20259)

On 01/13/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by dannij08 - United States (California)

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

#1001 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (39403) - you deserved it (4947)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)



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