danmahr

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danmahr

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 600
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About danmahr : Daniela, 18, Mexican

danmahr's page activity

Visits<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 10/29/2016 at 1:00pm<b>jonathan896</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 3:24pm<b>dontray</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:28am<b>Wrex</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 6:26pm<b>jrod9327</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 9:38am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 10:09am<b>k_gils</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 9:43am<b>olpally</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 3:50pm<b>HeyHeyFishFillet</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 12:02am<b>Kain713</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 5:38pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 4:05pm<b>kylee4567</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 1:42pm<b>StateChampBoy</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 4:02pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 11:28pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 10:49am<b>str1kepa1n</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 12:07am<b>prettytreekitty</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 1:04am<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 10:45pm

danmahr's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of danmahr's badges

danmahr's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

by Ashley / 10/07/2013 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 17-year-old son hacked off the legs of his bed with a saw. His explanation? "The bed looks cooler closer to the floor." FML

by Anonyme / 09/06/2013 at 7:56am / France (Basse-Normandie) / Kids

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

by ANNIEDBD / 03/23/2012 at 5:44am / Ireland (Dublin) / Work

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

by anonymous / 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML

by anonymous / 08/10/2011 at 12:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

by Jacky-Boy / 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Work

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love