Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

danilols689

Search for a member

danilols689

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4305
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

danilols689's page activity

Visits<b>ChaCerCam</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:59pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:33pm<b>DarkCaesar</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:56pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:25pm<b>nyranger35</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 8:33pm<b>ThorPowaa</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:32am<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:01pm<b>waterski123</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 11:19pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 2:06pm<b>mirokuboy2</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 11:29am<b>kylefitz20</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 1:25pm<b>Ranimal</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:11am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 2:12am<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 2:15am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 10:54pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 5:59pm<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 2:28pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 1:53pm

danilols689's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of danilols689's badges

danilols689's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29501) - you deserved it (3390)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

#20176354
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34282) - you deserved it (10911)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25237) - you deserved it (1771)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11456) - you deserved it (23825)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (1517)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27769) - you deserved it (5873)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

#20163115
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (3263)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25226) - you deserved it (7544)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML

#20159880
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31760) - you deserved it (1953)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by BulldogHoops - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML

#20159880
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31760) - you deserved it (1953)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by BulldogHoops - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

#20158140
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24888) - you deserved it (3365)

On 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24723) - you deserved it (1778)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

#20145795
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33505) - you deserved it (3527)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20275) - you deserved it (3182)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got back my history paper. The whole paper had been crossed out and at the end, my professor had written "Really?!" I still don't know what I did wrong. FML



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: