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danilols689

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danilols689

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 6216
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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danilols689's page activity

Visits<b>billboob</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:01pm<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 5:46am<b>ChaCerCam</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:59pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:33pm<b>DarkCaesar</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:56pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:25pm<b>nyranger35</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 8:33pm<b>ThorPowaa</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:32am<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:01pm<b>waterski123</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 11:19pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 2:06pm<b>mirokuboy2</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 11:29am<b>kylefitz20</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 1:25pm<b>Ranimal</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:11am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 2:12am<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 2:15am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 10:54pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 5:59pm

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danilols689's favorite FMLs

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26190) - you deserved it (8639)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

#20493182
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68907) - you deserved it (3933)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34376) - you deserved it (5934)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

#20491836
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11900) - you deserved it (30017)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML

#20491168
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26878) - you deserved it (7133)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

#20490582
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48103) - you deserved it (3330)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

#20490556
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38419) - you deserved it (4967)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39885) - you deserved it (9219)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

#20489307
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29388) - you deserved it (4165)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38548) - you deserved it (2171)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38548) - you deserved it (2171)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31721) - you deserved it (4109)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

#20487138
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10864) - you deserved it (33581)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47876) - you deserved it (3574) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version



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