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danielle_l's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally convinced my mum to take me to a psychologist. As soon as he sat me down and asked me how I was doing, my mum burst into tears and went on a rant about how her life is terrible and she regrets everything. I was asked to sit in the waiting room. She used up my whole hour. FML
by :-( / 07/17/2013 at 1:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Your ass... Grab it... / 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by o_O / 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML
by asthmattack / 01/25/2013 at 1:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 1:18am / France (Bretagne) / Love
by weave9z / 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids
by girly / 04/12/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love
by moe / 05/27/2011 at 1:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML
by sadcase / 04/12/2011 at 10:01am / Australia / Health
by Kim / 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
by Anonymous / 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health
Today, it's the 3 month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:09am / United States (California) / Health
- Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower,… Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to… Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and…
- Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, I walked into a mirror in a shop. No one would have known had my face not stayed printed on…