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danielle_kaye

Offline (the 10/15/2014 at 8:17am) | Search for a member

danielle_kaye

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danielle_kaye's page activity

Visits<b>Mistress420xX</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:36pm

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danielle_kaye's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you deserved it (77840)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33963) - you deserved it (28960)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38493) - you deserved it (3265)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17859) - you deserved it (128548)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40387) - you deserved it (2521)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

#20656177
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41231) - you deserved it (7149)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22498) - you deserved it (66077)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21061) - you deserved it (2365)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML

#20032351
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20106) - you deserved it (4098)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:02pm - kids - by Demetria (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML

#20016166
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15063) - you deserved it (9308)

On 08/12/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by FlorenceD - United States (Texas)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26445) - you deserved it (3825)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41963) - you deserved it (3831)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

#19052034
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29824) - you deserved it (2906)

On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)

Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

#18342381
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12936) - you deserved it (45462)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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