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daniela521

Offline (the 06/16/2015 at 4:12am) | Search for a member

daniela521

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Los Fresnos, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 May 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 907
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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daniela521's page activity

Visits<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:47am<b>andy594328</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 6:06pm<b>davered89</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:12pm<b>JonD63</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:46am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:29am

daniela521's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of daniela521's badges

daniela521's favorite FMLs

Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML

#21420435
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24609) - you deserved it (4903)

On 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm - work - by officeditz - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML

#21413979
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23436) - you deserved it (2803)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by xolaurennnn - United States

Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML

#21413204
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22105) - you deserved it (9503)

On 05/20/2015 at 7:21pm - misc - by BannedfromFriend - United States

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

#21410715
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27747) - you deserved it (2360)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I stuck my hand out the car window and noticed my arm fat flapping in the wind. FML

#21409639
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22967) - you deserved it (9155)

On 05/13/2015 at 7:19pm - health - by windthroughmyflab - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

#21406274
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28646) - you deserved it (2503)

On 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by Random737193 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

#21401745
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33885) - you deserved it (4529)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

#21395685
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22793) - you deserved it (30399)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

#21395495
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31351) - you deserved it (2118)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm - health - by khaoslife - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

#21393865
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30143) - you deserved it (3340)

On 04/15/2015 at 12:17am - kids - by mommylife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

#21393655
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28454) - you deserved it (1941)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:50pm - misc - by spitty (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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