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About dani64x : Hey. So. I'm a down to earth country girl. I absolutely adore animals and nature. I own three cats, two mice, and a horse. Horses are my passion, I am an instructor and trainer, among other things, and I used to show. I'm currently in college. Ummmm I enjoy reading books and listening to a wide range of music from jazz to screamo. LostProphets is an all time favorite. Though I have a country music obsession and always will. Anndd idk what else to say :) poke!
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML
Today, while visiting my grandparents, my grandpa decided to explain to me the real reason that the old sofa I was sitting on had always been so discolored. He says they were bleach stains left while cleaning up the mess made during my father's conception. FML
Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML
Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML
Friday 24 July 2015