Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dangermouse2990

Offline (the 02/09/2016 at 9:26pm) | Search for a member

dangermouse2990

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 May 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3170
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dangermouse2990's page activity

Visits<b>misterjg540</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:35pm<b>moron011</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:40pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:07pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Mendez6</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:01pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:22am<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 10:14pm<b>cbhoward1998</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:44am<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:57pm<b>shannon1670</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 6:02am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 7:46pm<b>montecristo4104</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 3:05am<b>Mistress420xX</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:32pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 8:55pm<b>zachman987</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 3:52pm<b>carl_CIOwhat</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 7:09pm<b>foxy_grampa</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:20am<b>xander0811</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 9:16am

Fucked!<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:26am<b>morondon000</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 6:22am

dangermouse2990's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of dangermouse2990's badges

dangermouse2990's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

#21515102
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27389) - you deserved it (12975)

On 01/14/2016 at 7:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML

#21469567
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35414) - you deserved it (2451)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm - kids - by Angus (man) - France

Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML

#21460557
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (3754)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:22pm - kids - by shit.jpg (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML

#21455219
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (2312)

On 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by NoTattoo (man) -

Today, I learnt the meaning of the phrase "ménage à trois". I had always thought it was synonymous with "fiasco" and have used it several times in essays. FML

Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML

#21451804
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22873) - you deserved it (2872)

On 08/04/2015 at 3:06pm - work - by ksa (man) - Poland (Slaskie)

Today, my friend offered to make me a playlist for the gym. I thought it was really thoughtful, until I started listening to it during my workout and realized that every single song was "Supersize Me" with the title changed. FML

#21451102
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22551) - you deserved it (2090)

On 08/02/2015 at 11:25pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, on my second day at my new job, a customer called my manager with a complaint about me. He said I put the cheese "upside down" on his sandwich, and that made it taste bad. FML

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

#21449623
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22545) - you deserved it (1680)

On 07/30/2015 at 5:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

#21440033
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25836) - you deserved it (2745)

On 07/11/2015 at 1:20pm - misc - by whymomwhy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML

#21439888
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14558) - you deserved it (34866)

On 07/11/2015 at 2:13am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I found a picture of myself on the "People of Walmart" site. FML

#21439858
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30136) - you deserved it (17166)

On 07/11/2015 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was complimented on my improved performance over the last 3 months. My boss said he doesn't know what I've done to improve, but to keep it up. I'd only started looking for another job, and stopped giving a shit. FML

#21431603
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25755) - you deserved it (2202)

On 06/25/2015 at 3:06am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F..." the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML

#21425087
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27393) - you deserved it (2302)

On 06/12/2015 at 5:09pm - misc - by BrakesNotBumpers (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

#21425055
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26791) - you deserved it (4685)

On 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: