Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dangermouse2990

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

dangermouse2990

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 530
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dangermouse2990's page activity

Visits<b>cbhoward1998</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:44am<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:57pm<b>shannon1670</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 6:02am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 7:46pm<b>montecristo4104</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 3:05am<b>Mistress420xX</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:32pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 8:55pm<b>zachman987</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 3:52pm<b>carl_CIOwhat</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 7:09pm<b>foxy_grampa</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:20am<b>xander0811</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 9:16am

dangermouse2990's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of dangermouse2990's badges

dangermouse2990's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

#21243243
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17335) - you deserved it (1316)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10410) - you deserved it (17387)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML

#21234068
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32571) - you deserved it (8371)

On 08/10/2014 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23212) - you deserved it (35577)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I realized that my dog, who's 11, eats his own shit, and chews bones like crazy still has 10 times nicer teeth than I do. FML

#21232602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31041) - you deserved it (7096)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boss pretty much told me that I'm too ugly to meet clients, and should stay in the office doing the paperwork. So basically, I'm a modern day Hunchback of Notre Dame. FML

#21232284
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36692) - you deserved it (3168)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:13am - work - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I went back to work after a vacation, only to find out I'll soon be forced to dress up as one of the princesses from Frozen to promote our store. FML

#21221108
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39905) - you deserved it (5729)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:29pm - work - by PrincessPromotion (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML

#21220439
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45618) - you deserved it (3713)

On 07/25/2014 at 4:19pm - misc - by asshalf15 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend saying to his friends, "I never knew what real contraception was until I saw Laura's face." I'm Laura. FML

#21219482
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38915) - you deserved it (3608)

On 07/24/2014 at 4:51pm - love - by I don't condome that, babe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42291) - you deserved it (6818)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a customer write "fuck you" in the tip option area on his credit card slip, I have no idea why. FML

#21212818
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35910) - you deserved it (4657)

On 07/18/2014 at 11:49am - work - by tuck87 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, I went into my former workplace. While there, an ex-coworker told me that after I quit, they split my position into two separate jobs. When I worked there, my boss had told me to suck it up whenever I said there was too much work for just one person. FML

#21209204
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43450) - you deserved it (3312)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:52pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML

Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML

#21207963
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37028) - you deserved it (6096)

On 07/13/2014 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: