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dangermouse2990

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dangermouse2990

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  • Number of visits : 1125
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dangermouse2990's page activity

Visits<b>cbhoward1998</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:44am<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:57pm<b>shannon1670</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 6:02am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 7:46pm<b>montecristo4104</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 3:05am<b>Mistress420xX</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:32pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 8:55pm<b>zachman987</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 3:52pm<b>carl_CIOwhat</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 7:09pm<b>foxy_grampa</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:20am<b>xander0811</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 9:16am

dangermouse2990's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of dangermouse2990's badges

dangermouse2990's favorite FMLs

Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML

#21345020
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19483) - you deserved it (2371)

On 01/27/2015 at 10:09am - animals - by dogproblems (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31430) - you deserved it (4498)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML

#21330417
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29790) - you deserved it (1989)

On 01/04/2015 at 1:52am - work - by boss stabber (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML

#21329640
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26726) - you deserved it (4019)

On 01/02/2015 at 10:11pm - misc - by whatajerk (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML

#21329522
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27328) - you deserved it (2186)

On 01/02/2015 at 7:11pm - animals - by cat co-parent - Australia

Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, 'No way' or 'It looks great on you', I accidentally said 'Yeah, I know'. FML

#21327629
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17910) - you deserved it (30624)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:47am - health - by bridezilla - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

#21326143
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29468) - you deserved it (14735)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML

#21316697
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33098) - you deserved it (5321)

On 12/13/2014 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

#21307823
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38078) - you deserved it (2500)

On 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm - misc - by idiots - United States (Texas)

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

#21305863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32686) - you deserved it (2623)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37373) - you deserved it (4267)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML

#21304340
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (2100)

On 11/23/2014 at 5:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I accidentally called my boss 'mom'. Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML

#21304319
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30246) - you deserved it (3709)

On 11/23/2014 at 3:31am - work - by naladetet - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I spent nearly an hour helping a customer pick out an engagement ring. I rang him up, picked out a super cute box for the ring, and wished him luck. Later I realized I never put the ring inside the box. FML

#21304265
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31152) - you deserved it (15442)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:10am - misc - by KilledTheMoment - United States (Illinois)



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