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dangermouse2990

Offline (the 10/21/2014 at 2:18pm) | Search for a member

dangermouse2990

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  • Number of visits : 658
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dangermouse2990's page activity

Visits<b>cbhoward1998</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:44am<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:57pm<b>shannon1670</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 6:02am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 7:46pm<b>montecristo4104</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 3:05am<b>Mistress420xX</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:32pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 8:55pm<b>zachman987</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 3:52pm<b>carl_CIOwhat</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 7:09pm<b>foxy_grampa</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:20am<b>xander0811</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 9:16am

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YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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dangermouse2990's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27148) - you deserved it (4234)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad told me someday I'll find a man who wants a nice lumberjack for a wife. FML

#21279635
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30156) - you deserved it (2961)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:14am - love - by axewoman -

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31142) - you deserved it (18255)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30990) - you deserved it (14287)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

#21273306
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35727) - you deserved it (3042)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:02am - animals - by queenmeme - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom that once I leave school, I want to join the clergy, and how much it meant to me. Her response: "Never knew you wanted to molest kids so much!" FML

#21270314
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29878) - you deserved it (6320)

On 10/03/2014 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML

#21269205
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38660) - you deserved it (5530)

On 10/01/2014 at 9:33pm - love - by EosThorn (woman) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33472) - you deserved it (5690)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36506) - you deserved it (11218)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

#21258420
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34774) - you deserved it (2734)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:07pm - work - by nocat6 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching "My Strange Addiction". The woman featured ate rocks. While judging her weird habit, I realised I was chewing on a coat-hanger the whole time. FML

#21256247
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31786) - you deserved it (11728)

On 09/11/2014 at 10:57am - misc - by ayeayeboy19 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35405) - you deserved it (2827)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a guy tried to pick me up with the line, "You're ugly. Just kidding. You're my date." FML

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML



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