dang

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dang

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 64761
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

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dang's page activity

Visits<b>ToriDawnxx</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:46pm<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:31am<b>Gladeryn</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 9:21pm<b>buffaloshmuffalo</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 6:59pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 8:51am<b>erinshuttleworth</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 1:51pm<b>ElloSubjects</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:24pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:07am<b>Earrings100</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 10:57am<b>frostedpuffs</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 5:53pm<b>faglio</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 4:53pm<b>goawayy</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 6:13pm<b>XxnirvanaxX</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 4:05am<b>scothran428</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 6:59pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:31pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:21am<b>jeanii</b> - the 11/14/2009 at 4:34pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/29/2009 at 11:35pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:51pm

dang's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dang's favorite FMLs

Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML

by danmarino / 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML

by kelsey / 03/08/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

by textfail / 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I cancelled out of a video chat with my boyfriend to go take a dump. I took my computer with me to look at Facebook. It took three minutes for me to realize I was still on video chat. FML

by videochat / 02/14/2009 at 6:05pm / United States (Vermont) / Geek

Today, I was helping supervise a 5 year old's birthday party in an inflatable obstacle course. I was playing hide and seek with them. I saw the birthday boy and crept around the corner and yelled "Found you!" He peed his pants. FML

by The V Sal / 02/13/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML

by IntimidatorStag / 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML

by IntimidatorStag / 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

by Lars / 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend had to leave work early for a funeral and on his way out I wanted to say something. All I could think of was "have fun". FML

by jalopenos / 01/29/2009 at 5:27am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Work

Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

by ohn0es / 01/23/2009 at 5:45am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

by rindawg / 01/19/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I crashed my car racing backwards and told my parents I was rear ended. They made me call the police and file a report. I hope there were no cameras. FML