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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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dang
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  • Number of visits : 62884
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

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Today, I was walking in the mountains when I tripped, I grabbed onto the fence in an attempt to soften my fall. The fence was electric. FML

#4206061 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (43089) - you deserved it (2876)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by Electronotfriend (woman) - Poland (Pomorskie)

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

#4137553 (295)

I agree, your life sucks (41970) - you deserved it (14896)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086 (384)

I agree, your life sucks (47694) - you deserved it (20005)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML

#3945236 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (49447) - you deserved it (4515)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States

Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML

#3676962 (359)

I agree, your life sucks (42798) - you deserved it (18613)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

#3550843 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (12981) - you deserved it (41574)

On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter asked me what the youngest age you should start having sex is, being a good mother I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh...shoot." and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863 (484)

I agree, your life sucks (59136) - you deserved it (8372)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (64265) - you deserved it (3598)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263 (459)

I agree, your life sucks (10983) - you deserved it (140041)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

#2406815 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (39092) - you deserved it (3329)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm - health - by PiZzA_FaCe (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought a top with some other things. I went to the restroom and had diarrhea, but there was no toilet paper in the stall. I had to use the receipt from the store. I then realized the clerk hadn't put the top in the bag. I needed that receipt to get the top. FML

#2396046 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (37337) - you deserved it (9285)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:44am - misc - by suckerrrrr (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

#2335982 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (14110) - you deserved it (48157)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:45am - intimacy - by arctic1 (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML

#2273679 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (55367) - you deserved it (2303)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by nadette (man) - United States (California)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. As part of my presents, my parents gave me prepaid debit card. When I got home, I looked at it again and realized it's the debit card you get from selling back books to our university bookstore. I bought my own books this year. They gave me my own refund. FML

#2039124 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (34273) - you deserved it (1588)

On 05/18/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

#1918683 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (47970) - you deserved it (4913)

On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)