Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dancinwookie

Search for a member

dancinwookie
  • Town/Country : You'd wanna be, Everywhere
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 4390
  • Number of comments : 241
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

dancinwookie's last visitors

insomniacdreamerwatchwhileusleepodditiesBellaBelleJessica00OhNoAGhostddc17TRaww21Orion_Knight78chutney_02DavidKnows

dancinwookie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of dancinwookie's badges

dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend informed me that she is still in love with the guy she cheated on me with. She admitted that she would be willing to do anything with him if he wanted to. And, "He's a better kisser too." FML

#13283884
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27917) - you deserved it (4380)

On 10/02/2010 at 12:22am - love - by laterchoice (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the guy I like recommended I buy this computer game. Wanting to impress him, I agreed. Turns out it was a joke. I am now the proud owner of Microsoft Train Simulator 2005, and he can't stop laughing. FML

#13205814
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7826) - you deserved it (30232)

On 09/26/2010 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML

#13068914
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45402) - you deserved it (3803)

On 09/16/2010 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I filed a missing persons report on my boyfriend. He was out fishing and then was supposed to meet me for a romantic weekend getaway. He never showed up and didn't respond to my texts. I found out, courtesy of a voicemail from the sheriff's department, that he'd broken up with me. FML

#13013607
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30779) - you deserved it (4224)

On 09/12/2010 at 1:22am - love - by stood-up (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

#12837026
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36157) - you deserved it (7382)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because of an argument about a printer. FML

#12716438
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25930) - you deserved it (4303)

On 08/24/2010 at 4:19am - love - by T.T (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML

#12201000
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35747) - you deserved it (3257)

On 07/30/2010 at 2:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML

#12038820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30471) - you deserved it (2674)

On 07/22/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

#12027756
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43929) - you deserved it (5326)

On 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm - love - by highlandgirl10 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92734) - you deserved it (5266)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend moved. I found out when I went over to surprise him with take-out food and he was pulling out of the driveway. He flipped me off as he drove past. FML

#11339057
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33050) - you deserved it (4208)

On 06/20/2010 at 7:37pm - love - by Anony Mous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I bought an apartment over what I have just learned to be an Irish folk music store. FML

#11008836
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12214) - you deserved it (29014)

On 06/06/2010 at 12:00pm - love - by CrazzY88s - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

#10975690
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60934) - you deserved it (7586)

On 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by weirdesout - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML

#10962269
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31979) - you deserved it (13145)

On 06/04/2010 at 5:38am - love - by badsinger (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML

#10727772
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26443) - you deserved it (5679)

On 05/24/2010 at 2:13am - love - by gedderdunn - Reserved



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: