dancinwookie

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Offline (the 05/09/2015 at 1:32am)

dancinwookie

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12567
  • Number of comments : 246
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

dancinwookie's page activity

Visits<b>Frowny</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 10:37pm<b>Incroyalzz</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 3:36pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:03pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 6:40pm<b>Cezll</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 3:24pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 1:12pm<b>skyironsword</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 12:37pm<b>iluvmonkeys</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 11:06pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 9:58am<b>WelshLeachy</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 5:57am<b>pete9913</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 9:55am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 2:47am<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:17pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 12:57pm<b>sky413</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:26am<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 2:57pm<b>UkeSenpai</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:34am<b>potionowl</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:22am

Fucked!<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 6:17pm<b>bugmenotmofo</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:03pm<b>fakedsincerity</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:52am<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:48am<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:42am

dancinwookie's FML badges

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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

by ILiveWithMorons / 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

by fuundmental/// / 04/09/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML

by hopeless / 04/08/2011 at 11:03am / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

by ouchmytits / 03/28/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Mississippi) / Health

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML

by Username / 03/28/2011 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

by FailedSniper / 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2011 at 3:44am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her tooth brush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2011 at 5:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

by dumped / 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

by dumped / 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

by crazystar69 / 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2011 at 6:20am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML

by Ldp56 / 02/25/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Kids