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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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dancing_bear

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dancing_bear
  • Town/Country : London, UK
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 December 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 60224
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dancing_bear : "Some days you're a bug, some days you're a windshield."
- Price Cobb

dancing_bear's last visitors

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dancing_bear's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dancing_bear's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML

#3345356 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (64759) - you deserved it (1769)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by marriedwithfamily (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I called my Dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell was. She then informed me that our Dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

#3332242 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (41504) - you deserved it (1925)

On 06/29/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by shroomda (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

#3288999 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (37132) - you deserved it (5222)

On 06/27/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by Tonya (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (61410) - you deserved it (3890)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was was leaving the library when I noticed an elderly woman being mugged. I was about to leave on my bike, but promptly went to help her. After I managed to scare off the mugger, I helped her to her car. As I was heading back to my bike, I notice the mugger riding off on it. FML

#2927719 (334)

I agree, your life sucks (46507) - you deserved it (2882)

On 06/15/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by rukus (man) - Canada

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

#2854895 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (41624) - you deserved it (3171)

On 06/13/2009 at 10:42am - kids - by Hackmanjones (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are suppose to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here FML." FML

#2459150 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (16351) - you deserved it (54643)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my parents joined the mile high club. While I was on the plane. FML

#2257216 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (55285) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:17pm - intimacy - by boardman (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML

#2044978 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (7033) - you deserved it (35466)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04am - work - by hipthrustdude (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML

#1976392 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (36403) - you deserved it (6362)

On 05/16/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by bosssssssss765432 - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733 (538)

I agree, your life sucks (34537) - you deserved it (220497)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)