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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41049) - you deserved it (16370)
On 08/15/2009 at 2:13am - love - by Squashed (woman) - United States
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52682) - you deserved it (5725)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in the parking lot right before a baseball game, then convinced me to still go to the game in tears. After the game, we were walking back to the car and he goes, "so, how about some break up lovin'?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50450) - you deserved it (6697)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - love - by ish (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to the school I work at, to set up my new classroom. I'm 5'1" and I was carrying a backpack full of fun educational posters. I also have a new boss. When we met for the first time he was yelling at me because "there were no students allowed in here yet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38338) - you deserved it (2163)
On 08/13/2009 at 9:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39222) - you deserved it (10541)
On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got my first facebook friend request in 4 months. I also got a message in my inbox. The message said: "Sorry, I thought you were someone else. Just ignore my friend request." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39079) - you deserved it (5467)
On 08/13/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by Jamie (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)
Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5999) - you deserved it (52539)
On 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by soapgirl (woman) - Philippines (Pampanga)
Today, I rented a car that has a smart key. The proximity of the key determines if the doors will unlock. I went to a meeting and returned to the car with the trunk popped open and all my luggage gone. The rental company decided to store a spare key in the glovebox for safe keeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35113) - you deserved it (1965)
On 08/13/2009 at 2:42am - work - by NoKeyNoCar - United States (California)
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83543) - you deserved it (3341)
On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30987) - you deserved it (4295)
On 08/12/2009 at 10:01pm - misc - by OMGWTF (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33897) - you deserved it (3437)
On 08/12/2009 at 9:47pm - work - by Jobless (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55777) - you deserved it (3249)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, There was a fire in my building and the fire alarm went off when I was in the shower, I live on the 5th floor and had to run down the stairs naked because the fire was next door. When I got downstairs I got a $500 ticket for public nudity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40424) - you deserved it (7609)
On 08/11/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by BulgaBoi21 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40596) - you deserved it (14561)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Teamarie (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was alone with a work acquaintance at lunch. A noise came from his pocket; he whipped out his iPod Touch and said "Sorry, I have to take this," before walking away with the iPod to his ear. Not only did he not want to talk to me, he thought I was stupid enough to confuse an iPod with a phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36106) - you deserved it (10923)
On 08/11/2009 at 8:17am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 17 June 2013
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