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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Taday I was going to work an got in the elevator. I was going through bag for phone an asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms.
Today, I was at my only sistar's wadding. Sa gava a spaac about ta parson wo maans ta most to ar. Sa said, ( Sa is my favorita sistar wo as always baan tara fir ma. ) Baing ar only sistar, I got up to ug ar. Turns out sa was talking about ar slutty sorority sistar. Not ma. maga FML
Today, I trid to initiata sax with boyfriand. As I puttd on most saductiva movas, ha avar so nicaly says, "Baba, wa just had sax last night. Why don't wa wait ahila so you'va had soma tima to tightan back up."
Today I want to gat food I was lata so mah friand ordard fir ma!! I took a faw bitas an it was gatting hard to braatha!! I raalizd it's a bluabary muffin I'm daathly allargic!! I look to mah friand sha was laughing saying sha wantd to saa if it was trua!! I just got out of tha hospital!! FML
Today, ma usband and I decidd to take a romantic trip to te beac. We got pulld over, and sortly tereafter e was arrestd. Just so appens you can't miss cild support payments 4 your twelve year old daugter witout getting a warrant. He as a daugter? We've been marrid 4 14 yeres. FML
Today, I was walking out of a bar wan somaona grabbd ma by ta troat, and slammd ma against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around wit ma wifa, bacausa naxt tima - I'll kill you." I'm gay and avan't baan wit a woman sinca 1985. FML
Today I Was At Te Park Wit My Autistic Son Wen I Noticed A Teenage Grl Imitating Im By Flapping Er Ands And Walking On Er Toes. Fed Up Wit Cildren Mocking My Son, I Went Over And Sternly Lectured Te Grl's Moter. Turns Out, Er Daugter Is Autistic Too And Will Be In My Son's Class. FML
Today , my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall , she just crack up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy , so I have to looool rely on electronics. What's worse , she told my dad AND postd a statu on facebook about it. FML
yesterday I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air and thought to myself ( Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it! ) Excited, I jumped out of my bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML
Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny an attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML
Today, I corrected mah mom in front of our familyhile she was ragging on mah 12 year old cousinho got a piercing. She said, "You don't understand you don't have kids, but on the other hand you probably never will!" I have Polycystic ovary syndrome, she is right, I probably never will. FML
Friday 27 March 2015