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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35967) - you deserved it (5754)
On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28341) - you deserved it (4411)
On 11/09/2009 at 2:55am - health - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58516) - you deserved it (4093)
On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States
Today, I dropped my keys in the toilet. While in the kitchen looking for something to fish them out with, I heard a door slam. My sister had to use the bathroom and didn’t see my keys in the toilet before sitting down. Lucky me, I caught her just as she was about to flush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18419) - you deserved it (3417)
On 11/06/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ShittyKeys (man) - United States (California)
Today, a woman evidently posted on a chat website asking for any young men to send pictures of their junk to her cell phone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of them including the picture. Only problem. The number posted wasn't hers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16276) - you deserved it (1370)
On 11/03/2009 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by buckid310 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I told my sister that I thought I was pregnant, and that she was the only person I had called. Immediately after I hung up the phone I got a text saying, "OMG my sister thinks she's pregnant!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26140) - you deserved it (3516)
On 10/19/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by Misc248 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he has anger issues. Tonight, my tires were slashed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31635) - you deserved it (4637)
On 10/19/2009 at 11:54am - love - by kierstin (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I started my first day at work, I've been unemployed for a while and am in college, so naturally I have no money. At the end of my shift, I ask what we do with the extra bread, and they tell me to throw it away. Being poor and hungry, I decide to take the bread home. I got fired for stealing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33911) - you deserved it (6168)
On 10/19/2009 at 4:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11839) - you deserved it (3811)
On 10/19/2009 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Shower? - Sent from mobile version
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32009) - you deserved it (3127)
On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version
Today, I realized that acne is a major side effect of a medication I'm taking. The medication is to help me with my anxiety. The acne is creating more anxiety. And the more anxious I get, the more meds I need. And the more my face breaks out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27907) - you deserved it (3313)
On 10/17/2009 at 2:26am - health - by JoJo - United States (Iowa)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16591) - you deserved it (57165)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84463) - you deserved it (17439)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I began my job as an intern at a high school. I saw one of the students looked very familiar, and I couldn't remember from where. Then I figured it out, I had hooked up with him at a club last week. He's a junior in high school, I'm in my last year of college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8882) - you deserved it (33541)
On 09/04/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by akward (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40166) - you deserved it (9141)
On 09/02/2009 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
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