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dancer_15234

Offline (the 10/14/2014 at 2:06am) | Search for a member

dancer_15234

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  • Number of visits : 363
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dancer_15234's favorite FMLs

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35320) - you deserved it (4190)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41939) - you deserved it (3618)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

#21266558
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30306) - you deserved it (5549)

On 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37202) - you deserved it (8337)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38804) - you deserved it (3411)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23655) - you deserved it (28)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

#21220355
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45593) - you deserved it (3430)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm - misc - by notadoorman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56493) - you deserved it (41728)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like he loved me. He looked away and replied, "Fair enough". FML

#21194486
72 comments

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

#21194001
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55106) - you deserved it (3978)

On 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm - love - by outoflove (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52030) - you deserved it (4729)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML

#21187386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44736) - you deserved it (5572)

On 06/25/2014 at 12:29am - misc - by pierced. - United States (Nevada)

Today, my husband decided that if he's not hungry, then I'm not allowed to make myself any food. FML

#21182292
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42992) - you deserved it (5189)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

#21181955
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52967) - you deserved it (5169)

On 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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