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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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dan11

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dan11
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 442
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML

#7774982 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (8294) - you deserved it (14155)

On 02/01/2010 at 7:36am - misc - by wilsmith (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML

#7603599 (307)

I agree, your life sucks (28945) - you deserved it (2710)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by evil - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML

#7490616 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (36722) - you deserved it (2838)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (35939) - you deserved it (3949)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

#7313785 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (3738) - you deserved it (30806)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:31am - misc - by Creepster (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. Having a moment of insanity, I crumbled and threw the receipt at the cashier, while yelling "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

#7093853 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (2213) - you deserved it (34227)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (39172) - you deserved it (2503)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (36347) - you deserved it (3837)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52114) - you deserved it (11878)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML

#4677872 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (34615) - you deserved it (1812)

On 08/20/2009 at 8:45am - misc - by tommy3824 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126 (346)

I agree, your life sucks (13575) - you deserved it (32525)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was meeting the mayor of a major city as part of an internship program. Seated directly in front of him during his presentation on the budget crisis, he unleashed an enormous, foul fart in front of the entire audience. And then blamed it on me, everyone believed him. FML

#3859879 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (41698) - you deserved it (1709)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:10pm - work - by justdoingmyjob (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

#3769867 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (35664) - you deserved it (6002)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by GrippedMyBalls - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML

#1751488 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (60646) - you deserved it (16265)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (84872) - you deserved it (4266)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)