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damn_it_damn_it

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damn_it_damn_it

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  • Number of visits : 2075
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:35pm<b>wideh2ogirl</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 11:15pm

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damn_it_damn_it's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML

#4055189
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64224) - you deserved it (6153)

On 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by helpfulmom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML

#4055189
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64224) - you deserved it (6153)

On 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by helpfulmom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21909) - you deserved it (53508)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17181) - you deserved it (68474)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I was shopping at COSTCO for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me I heard somebody say "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML

#3969079
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50388) - you deserved it (8772)

On 07/23/2009 at 1:23am - love - by costcocondoms (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML

#3945236
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59907) - you deserved it (6309)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

#3932433
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55255) - you deserved it (28158)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML

#3905141
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10862) - you deserved it (63809)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by hoho5191 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone falls silent as my dad begins to pray for our meal. FML

#3882567
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46061) - you deserved it (4896)

On 07/19/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Churizmo - United States

Today, I just found out that my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend are rooming together at college. Visits are going to be extremely awkward. FML

#3846556
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50222) - you deserved it (6149)

On 07/18/2009 at 12:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35490) - you deserved it (94271)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my new boss at my job is the same guy that I turned down repeatedly last night at the bar. FML

#3820845
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51511) - you deserved it (4067)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:02am - work - by awkward. (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML

#3811279
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49307) - you deserved it (2882)

On 07/16/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by search_me (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML

#3799084
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37834) - you deserved it (12339)

On 07/16/2009 at 11:02am - kids - by porkeater (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

#3769867
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43285) - you deserved it (8184)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by GrippedMyBalls - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)



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