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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26566) - you deserved it (28138)
On 09/17/2010 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50156) - you deserved it (4590)
On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13263) - you deserved it (38934)
On 09/18/2009 at 6:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7738) - you deserved it (24556)
On 09/16/2009 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out that my boss plays a trick on all the interns. He calls you to his office, then leaves you waiting outside until you get annoyed and leave. Apparently, the old record was 45mins. I waited 4 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34792) - you deserved it (7715)
On 09/15/2009 at 5:32pm - work - by stillwaiting (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (87648) - you deserved it (18471)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30059) - you deserved it (3637)
On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35428) - you deserved it (99707)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34848) - you deserved it (1844)
On 08/20/2009 at 8:45am - misc - by tommy3824 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6572) - you deserved it (44204)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47448) - you deserved it (2144)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48585) - you deserved it (7527)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31331) - you deserved it (4403)
On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47244) - you deserved it (3435)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was helping my brother clean his room. While putting clothes away, I found a box of thongs. They were mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43664) - you deserved it (2467)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by haha247 (woman) - United States (Florida)
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