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damian25

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damian25
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 638
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

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Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24080) - you deserved it (4186)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104409) - you deserved it (14015)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42281) - you deserved it (13767)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out what "supersoaked" means. I thought it meant getting shot by a water gun, which is why I laughed when my daughter's boyfriend said he "supersoaked" her. FML

#12894594
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29042) - you deserved it (6027)

On 09/04/2010 at 12:15am - intimacy - by FMyLife5915 -

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50903) - you deserved it (3656)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35251) - you deserved it (9880)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10611) - you deserved it (105567)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML

#12022109
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24846) - you deserved it (3406)

On 07/21/2010 at 9:52am - health - by blank - United States

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37246) - you deserved it (8007)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

#8889427
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17724) - you deserved it (33667)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. For a 16 year old, it's pretty impressive. It's a shame that I'm a girl though. FML

#8590174
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31610) - you deserved it (2633)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:36pm - misc - by Kay (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, we were drawing self-portraits in school. I'm horrible at art, so I turned to the person next to me and stated that mine looked really ugly. He replied saying, "No, it looks exactly like you." FML

#8557301
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17699) - you deserved it (4589)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by quasimodo - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML

#8480132
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5501) - you deserved it (38107)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

#8300891
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34238) - you deserved it (3067)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

#8169193
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15902) - you deserved it (13808)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)



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