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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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dameretiannaa31

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dameretiannaa31
  • Town/Country : Texas, The states(:
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 February 1996 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 568
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dameretiannaa31 : Hi,my name is Damere,get to know me(:

dameretiannaa31's last visitors

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dameretiannaa31's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (8524) - you deserved it (51752)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

#4995103 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (10386) - you deserved it (30195)

On 09/02/2009 at 7:19am - intimacy - by keepsmiling - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

#4933603 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (44800) - you deserved it (3099)

On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

#4927406 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (43970) - you deserved it (9667)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML

#4905255 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (38279) - you deserved it (2982)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:46pm - health - by mommy_issues (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (47871) - you deserved it (5206)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

#4270687 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (36192) - you deserved it (5151)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by just_a_bit_akwRd (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I quit my job after two years. Now I have my crazy boss sitting out in front of my house, telling me she wants to work things out. She has been there all day. FML

#4255105 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (36474) - you deserved it (2542)

On 08/03/2009 at 1:16pm - work - by Azcrazy (man) - United States

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said,"This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

#3692539 (294)

I agree, your life sucks (38601) - you deserved it (8716)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML

#3658638 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (32277) - you deserved it (6387)

On 07/11/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by RR (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (61411) - you deserved it (3890)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494 (859)

I agree, your life sucks (85957) - you deserved it (50908)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710 (1201)

I agree, your life sucks (55737) - you deserved it (136044)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

#2442070 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (42446) - you deserved it (5399)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by satanlovesme (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I turned 30 years old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

#2429850 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (44292) - you deserved it (1672)

On 05/30/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by willieboom (man) - United States (Washington)