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damaniii

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damaniii
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 77
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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damaniii's favorite FMLs

Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML

#20609262
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50766) - you deserved it (6521)

On 04/21/2013 at 1:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

#20569678
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36131) - you deserved it (4953)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:57am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyyoufreaks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML

#20192452
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17638) - you deserved it (1873)

On 12/05/2012 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

#20126033
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12811) - you deserved it (9576)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

#20090890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19865) - you deserved it (1246)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML

Today, my dad decided that he shouldn't have to wear clothes in the privacy of his own home. FML

#18724307
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25847) - you deserved it (2761)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

#17453333
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33937) - you deserved it (3055)

On 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by -_- - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

#16068668
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32158) - you deserved it (11787)

On 05/06/2011 at 3:27pm - love - by msjustine (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was running a marathon. I stopped to massage my stiff legs, when an elderly spectator taunted, "Oohhh yeah, that's it! Massage those legs good, boy!" She looked about 70. FML

#15919634
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25652) - you deserved it (4259)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML

#15739241
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25671) - you deserved it (3006)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:08am - work - by Shamdog48 - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking to work through a bad part of town. A man yelled something at me, but knowing what part of town I was in, I ignored him and kept walking. Two seconds later I got hit by a car. Turns out, he was trying to warn me about the car coming right towards me. FML

Today, I went to the hospital to get my ingrown toenail removed. The doctors put me on a little surgery table and told me to relax. They then injected anesthetic into my toe four times and used a pair of scissors to slowly cut through my nail. Only, the anesthetic hadn't started to work just yet. FML

#8474571
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22754) - you deserved it (1888)

On 02/20/2010 at 10:13am - health - by papertrains (woman) - Singapore

Today, I had a very important test. Last night, I'd had such bad leg pains that I couldn't sleep, so I took two very strong painkillers and went to sleep pain-free. I apparently accidentally overdosed, because when I woke up, I couldn't see properly or even stand up. And I missed my test. FML

#7619521
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17460) - you deserved it (7074)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:27pm - health - by fuuuuck (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my ex-boyfriend who I am still in love with sends me a text message that says "I miss you, baby". It turns out my name comes right after his girlfriend's name on his contact list. FML

#2236
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20135) - you deserved it (1483)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by yeah... - United States (Ohio)



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