About daltonromanowski : God loved the birds and invented trees; man loved the birds and invented cages. - Jacques Deval
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Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17216) - you deserved it (1002)
On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17411) - you deserved it (1018)
On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14883) - you deserved it (1133)
On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16454) - you deserved it (1374)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19736) - you deserved it (10826)
On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (1532)
On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out my girlfriend is only with me because I'm a mechanic and I fix her constantly broken-down car for free. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16993) - you deserved it (1437)
On 08/23/2012 at 8:05pm - love - by hustled - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4510) - you deserved it (51340)
On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18063) - you deserved it (2085) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, after a few weeks of smuggling a baby caterpillar into work every day just to make sure it ate and stayed alive long enough to turn into a butterfly, it finally did. Before it could fly free, a bird turned it into a snack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17846) - you deserved it (3930)
On 08/21/2012 at 12:56pm - animals - by goodbyefriend - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while traveling with my cat, I had a mini-freakout when I realized that I left his favorite toy in the hotel room. I'm a 30-year-old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12500) - you deserved it (6238)
On 08/19/2012 at 10:19pm - animals - by speshlk37 (man) - United States
Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said "nah, it's just a generic face". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13678) - you deserved it (6809)
On 08/15/2012 at 1:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6790) - you deserved it (20964)
On 08/09/2012 at 8:02pm - animals - by couchsurfer - Canada (Ontario)
Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3408) - you deserved it (16139)
On 08/06/2012 at 7:25pm - misc - by maybenot (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16292) - you deserved it (1325)
On 07/26/2012 at 8:46pm - misc - by Carrie G. (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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